Defining Word for 2020!

Hey Girrrl Stop Nation! We are about to enter a new year and a new decade and we need to get our planning, goals and intentions in our minds and on paper now! What will be your defining word for 2020? What one word will you pick to guide you in the coming year and make it a successful one?

Your word could be something like:

-Courage
-Do
-Bold
-Fearless

And the list goes on! Think about what your word should be, pray about it also and see what Word God shows you. This word is for you and should be your motivator in all endeavors! In addition to your defining word, I want to encourage all of you to choose a defining scripture for 2020! I know this will be difficult as there are so many but do your best to narrow it down to one!

I’m excited to share my defining word and scripture for 2020 with you all:

Self-belief 

Ephesians 3:20

Self-belief is my word for 2020 because I do believe it is one area that has held me back. There’s a twinge of doubt on my part as to whether I can do ‘this’ or ‘that’ and it is that twinge that has kept me immobilized. As I began to ponder on this notion I was led to this scripture, Ephesians 3:20, “Now unto Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” I serve a God who is able and because God is able, He empowers me to be ABLE (no pun intended) to tackle any task or endeavor I set out to do! The scripture goes on to say that God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all I can ask or even think! This just encourages me to dream bigger and not doubt because God can do it bigger and better than I can even imagine! But here is the part that really coincides with my defining word: ‘according to the power that works in us’ – this is where I can draw my ‘self-belief’ from! God says that when you come into this family of faith you now have my Holy Spirit living on the inside of you and it is the Holy Ghost which gives us power! Because of this power, I can truly do all things through Christ which strengthens me (Philippians 4:13) and this fuels my self-belief!

God is simply saying: 

You Have What Works, Now Work It! 

Ok, 2020 it’s on!!

Death to Thankfulness

The season of thanksgiving has come upon us once again. As I reflect on being thankful I’m immediately reminded of all that God has done for me. I think about how God has allowed me to wake up each morning and how He has kept a roof over my head through perilous times. I think about how He has protected me from danger seen and unseen and most importantly how He has kept my mind when I thought I would lose it!

God has done so much for me that I can’t help but be thankful, not just at Thanksgiving but every day! Unfortunately, thankfulness can be easily eradicated when we participate in the following:

-Complaining

-Comparing

You can’t complain and be thankful in the same breath. When we complain about our circumstances or life occurrences, we are focusing more on our problem than the One who can solve the problem. Complaining takes our focus off of God and this is not a good place to be. Complaining keeps you in a place that is negative, dark and sad because it narrows your view of God’s presence even in not so good times. God says “I am always with you, I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you” (Isaiah 41:10). This isn’t conditional, this means God is with us in good times, bad times, uncomfortable times and always! Complaining is detrimental to your spiritual growth and overall well-being.

Comparing combats thankfulness in that it shifts your focus to your flaws or shortcomings. We should be grateful to God for how He created us, how He wired us, and for where He has us placed at this very moment. When we compare our lives to others, our abilities to others, and our situations to others we take our focus off the One who is in total control. This is truly a trick of the enemy because in our comparisons, we don’t have all of the external factors and facts to make a worthwhile comparison. It also produces a spirit of jealousy that is not pleasing to God. Jay-Z said, “What, you mad cause you push dimes and he sell weight? Y’all don’t’ know my expenses, I gotta buy bigger plates…and more baggies – why you all aggie?” (Heart of the City). Point here, you don’t know all of what people go through to be where they are, so comparison is death to thankfulness.

Complaining and Comparing cannot co-exist with a thankful heart and thankful speech. They are unable to cohabitate and be roommates! A known fact is that life is hard; but a hard reality is that it can always be worse. The truth of the matter is that there is someone right now, praying for the life you have, the one that you sometimes complain about or the one you sometimes foolishly compare to someone else’s life.

Be thankful in this season and always for where God has you now! God is constantly at work behind the scenes, interceding on your behalf!

Happy Thanksgiving to the Girrrl Stop Nation, I pray you all have a wonderful time with family and friends during this holiday season!

Give thanks with a grateful heart

Give thanks to the Holy One

Give thanks cuz He has given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now, let the weak say I am strong

Let the poor say I am rich

Because of what the Lord has done for us

Give thanks!

#iSmile – Are You Packed Yet?

It’s been said that people may not remember what you said to them but they will always remember how you made them feel. This is how I remember Brock Benbow as one who would make me smile. I’m one of those people who if I hear someone laughing, I don’t even have to know what they are laughing at, I’m probably gonna start laughing too! Same goes for when someone smiles: you smile, I smile. Brock had a smile that seemed to be etched on his face, it never moved. I imagine that even the undertakers will not be able to contour his face away from that smile.

God decided to call Brock, my Sunday School student, home on November 11, 2019 at the tender age of 24 years old. So young, so sudden. I’m finding it hard to grapple with this one and I even find myself at times questioning God. Why him God? Why this one? Why now? The questions fill my head but they topple over when I re-focus on the fact the God knows best. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to spend the majority of the last weekend of his life with him. He came over to my house Friday night along with his best friend Lamont to help me move some furniture around and I took them both out to dinner afterwards. Ironically, one of the topics of conversation at the dinner table was ‘friendship’. Brock and Lamont affectionately talked about how they met and how their friendship had flourished over the years. They talked about things they wanted to do in the Youth Department at our church and just things in general. The food wasn’t that great at Cracker Barrel that night but I remember Brock ate his food with a smile regardless.

I saw him again on Sunday for our church’s 92^nd church anniversary. All smiles again as he was donned in his purple to represent our current Pastor. He asked if we were all going to go to Mia’s house (my cousin) after church and we all agreed after some laughter about it from Minister D’Warren! As everyone gathered at Mia’s house the laughter and jokes commenced. I caught some of them as I was in and out of sleep but one of the last questions I remember asking Brock was, “Are you packed yet?” He was set to go on our Pastor’s birthday cruise Saturday, November 16, 2019. He replied, “No, not yet”. I said, “You betta get packed because Saturday will be here before you know it!” and he calmly replied, “I will, tomorrow”.

Tomorrow came and what I discovered was that he was indeed already packed and ready to go on his final trip.

Are you packed yet? Are you ready for your final trip when it’s time for it? I hear you asking ‘what exactly do I pack for that trip, what type of luggage do I bring?’ For this trip, you must prepare for it early. Your heart is synonymous with your luggage and you must carry certain things inside! Let your luggage be:

-Stuffed with the gift of Salvation (Romans 10:9-10)

-Layered with Love (Galatians 5:22-23)

-Jumping with Joy

-Padded with Peace

-Kindled with Kindness

-Growing with Goodness

-Filled with Faithfulness

-Girded with Gentleness

-Saturated with Self-Control

So, I ask you again, are you packed yet?

Brock is with Jesus now, cruising in heaven. I will miss his etched-on smile, his mannerly personality and his calm, even-keeled demeanor. I never imagined that my conversation with him on the couch at my cousin’s house would be my last conversation with him. You never know what God’s plans are and how any given day will go. What I do know is that I was blessed not just to know him but to have a relationship with him; a caring young man who was saved and loved the Lord!

I will truly miss you Brock but I know you’re with Jesus now in eternal rest.

So, I’ll just sign off with this:

#iSmile

Finish Strong!

Well it’s about 60-something days left in 2019 and I want you to know that some great things can still happen! Maybe you’ve missed the mark on some of your 2019 goals. The good news is even if you didn’t fully get to goal, there is still some time and room to make some serious strides! Here are 3 things you can do to finish strong in 2019:

-Re-Visit! – Visit your ‘why’ again, that reason why you wanted to complete this goal in the first place! Why did you want to start the business? Why did you want to begin the ministry? What is your big ‘why’? Visit that place and discover why you wanted to complete this goal! 

-Re-Ignite! – Once you’ve re-discovered your ‘why’ now you can re-ignite the fire that gets you pumped! Read some inspirational posts like Girrrl Stop or put on that song that motivates you and gets you going! Whateva you gotta do – do it and re-ignite the fire within you!

-Re-Do! – Just do something! I don’t care what it is, do at least one small thing that will inch you toward your goal. If it’s to start a business, work on getting your website up and running or even your business cards printed! Do something!!

Taking small steps toward goal are great ways to have quick wins!

Quick wins are a surefire way to finish strong!

It's All Good!

Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

I wanted to just touch on this scripture a bit more this week as we talked about it briefly the week before last. What I love about this scripture is the assurance it gives us because of the One who is in total control! Let’s look at it a little more closely. 

And we know…

I don’t have time in this post to touch on the conjunction ‘And’ because that would have us speak about the verses before this one (Girrrl you should read it tho!). So for purposes of this conversation we will start with the word ‘know’. There are some things that we have to be completely sure of and have no doubt about! We have to know who Jesus Christ is and recognize his full authority over all of the earth and things outside of the earth. When we recognize God’s true authority and omnipotence (having all power), we will stand in full confidence that no matter what comes our way, God is in control. We must know this, being fully assured in this fact so that we never waiver on it. 

…all things 

There is something that my Pastor says all the time about the word ‘all’ – it means the same in Hebrew, Greek, Aramaic, whatever – all means all! All things means simply all things: good, bad, ugly, hard, indifferent – ALL. We have to keep this in mind especially during the stormy seasons of life. You have to know that even these times are apart of the ‘all’ and although they are necessary – they are only temporary! All things work together for good! Even the not so good things may come for your development or to draw you closer to Christ. Either way – it’s all good! 

…love God

They say membership has its privileges – it pays to be in the family of Jesus Christ! Loving God goes beyond just words but the word ‘love’ should be viewed as a verb, an action word! This means that we must show the love that we say we have for God! How? By living our lives as best we can according to God’s Word. 

…His purpose

God has a purpose for all of us. What trips us up usually is that we tend to focus on our own purpose, plans, and desires instead of honing in on what God’s purpose is for our lives. When you key on what it is that God has for you to do, the obstacles of life won’t get you down as bad because you are always working toward the greater end! 

All things do indeed work for our good! The good things work for our good, the bad things work for our good, and even the hard things work for our good! This is comforting to know that because of who God is and who he designed us to be, no matter what the situation - It’s All Good! 

Setbacks Are Set-Ups for Comebacks!

If you’ve lived long enough you’ve experienced some setbacks. Whether it is with your career, school, business, or just your personal life, we have all had a setback or two or three or four (you get the picture)! When things don’t quite work out as expected It tends to bring on feelings of depression, discouragement and despair. These places of emotional residency are not where God wants his believers to reside and settle but rather they should just be a short pit stop at best, as you push your way through this thing called life.

Don’t sweat the setbacks! I repeat, don’t sweat the setbacks!

Why? Because they are the foundation for your next set-up! I hear you asking how can that very thing that has weighed me down, caused me to suffer and almost taken me out be the catalyst for my victory? The answer is God! God has a way of setting things up just right and making them all come together for your good! I’m reminded of the story of Joseph. His brothers were jealous of him and conspired together to get rid of Joseph. They put him in a pit and decided to tell their father that wild beast had eaten him. But the plan changed when some travelers were coming by on their way to Egypt. So the brothers decided to sell Joseph to these people for 20 shekels of silver. Those people in turn sold Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, an officer of Pharoah. The Bible says repeatedly in this story that the Lord was with Joseph. Joseph went from the Pit, to the Palace, to the Prison and back to the Palace as head over all of Egypt (Read Genesis Chapter 37-47 – it literally reads like a novel)!

The point here is that even in Joseph’s setbacks the Lord was with him and the Lord had a plan for Joseph’s life and the life of the people of God! God used Joseph to protect His people during the famine – everything was a part of God’s plan!

The Bible says in Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose”. Do you believe this? Do you believe that God has a plan for your life and that He is in total control just as he was for Joseph? Joseph’s setbacks were in place to prepare for God’s Set-Ups! So it is with you. God is working behind the scenes even in the rough seasons. He is using the setbacks as set-ups for your comeback!

Setting you up for success in your life: family, career, business, finances, relationships – EVERYTHING! 

Believe it today! 

Next week let’s look at Romans 8:28 a little more, there are some key things in that verse that we must be clear and sure on. We gotta believe this thing for real in our hearts, minds, and spirits!

Determined To Win

I’ve been doing a series on ‘winning’ all coming from Ephesians 2:10. The first was Designed to Win as we are the workmanship/masterpiece of God and therefore he designed us to WIN! Then we looked at being Destined to Win because the ‘good works’ that God designed us for he ‘prepared them beforehand’ therefore making us destined to WIN! As we explore Ephesians 2:10 even more we see that God did design and destined us to win but we also see that we have a part to fulfill, we have to be: Determined to Win! 

Ephesians 2:10 states, “For we are His workmanship (design), created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand (destined) that we should walk in them (determined)”. God says ‘I’ve given you the foundation for you to build on, I’ve given you the assurance that you were designed and destined for success and I’ve given you the insurance by my death on that old rugged cross’. Essentially God is saying ‘I’ve given you what works – now work it!’

When we read ‘that we should walk in them’ the word walk denotes that some action has to take place on our part. God opens doors for us but what good is an open door if we don’t walk through it! No matter what season you’re in, no matter if things are good or bad, no matter if you have a ton of support or no support at all, God is calling you to WALK in those things that he as prepared for you beforehand. You have to have a determination that says no matter what comes my way, no matter the setbacks, setups, set asides or whatever – you have to be determined to win!

Determination to win can help you withstand any circumstance if you choose to fight through. Determination to win can help you keep your head above water even when outside factors dictate that you should be drowning. Having a determination to win will often times confuse the enemy because in the enemy’s eyes you should be sullen, sulking, and surly. But because of your determination and unwillingness to give up, outside factors cannot and will not keep you down!

Sis, put yo’ walkin’ shoes on!

It's time to walk in your purpose!

It’s time to walk in your anointing!

It’s time to walk in your victory!

(In Stilettos of course!)

You were Design to Win!

You are Destined to Win!

You must be Determined to Win!

Destined to Win

Last week I pray you were encouraged by the post Designed to Win coming from Ephesians 2:10: http://www.girrrlstop.com/2019/08/designed-to-win.html 

This week I just want to encourage you even more to let you know that not only were you ‘designed to win’ but you were also Destined to Win! Ephesians 2:10 states, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them”.

Exploring Ephesians 2:10 some more, we see that we are God’s workmanship (design) created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God ‘prepared beforehand’ (destined)! Know that God didn’t just make this stuff up on the fly but planning and preparation went into you woman of God – beforehand! This is exciting news because it doesn’t matter what things look like, how circumstances turn out, or even if it looks like you’re losing – God says you WIN because He has destined you to WIN!

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”. All things! The good, the bad, the ugly, the unfair, the hurtful, the exciting, the great, the rough and even the tough things all work together for your good. All things help us in some way. Whether they teach us, develop us, encourage us, promote us, humble us or whatever, they ALL work together for our good!

When you are a child of the Most High God, know that you are winning even when you’re losing because you are destined to win – it was prepared for you beforehand!

It's amazing with You, I win even if I lose
Everything's working for my good for always

-Kirk Franklin, Love Theory

Designed To Win!

This post is for those who may feel like they are NOT winning right now! Life is tough for you in this season. Finances are haywire, relationships are fragmented, job satisfaction is unimaginable, and things in general are just not going your way! You feel weary, depleted and at your wit’s end.

No matter what the story looks like today, just know that it’s not how the story will end – why? You were designed to win! Ephesians 2:10  (NKJV) tells says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” If we look at this verse in the New Living Translation is reads, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” The words ‘workmanship’ and ‘masterpiece’ shows God as our Creator or our Designer! We are all custom made, there are no duplicates, everyone of you has been handcrafted by the Master! Because your ‘Designer’ is Jesus Christ, you are indeed Designed to Win!

Winning is your protocol, it is your destiny based on who the Designer is. The truth of the matter is, what you were able to go through and handle would have took the average person down BUT GOD! You have been able to persevere through it all and you’re still standing!

Regardless of your circumstances - you are a winner! Regardless of what life is throwing you right now – you are a winner!

Winning doesn’t have to do with anything material but rather how the Lord is keeping you through it all. Yeah, even in the valley, you winning! Now just wait until God decides to send the SHIFT!

(Somebody shout in advance!)

I Woke Up Like This - I Side-Eyed God

This morning I side-eyed God. I actually do this a lot because He moves in such an unconventional and non-traditional way. Sometimes I’m thrown by how the Lord operates, specifically with me. This particular week has been challenging to say the least. For starters, my character was attacked in my workplace causing tension on my team. Then I conducted an exit interview with an ex-boyfriend (yes, I do this because I am a complete wreck) so that I could gain more insight into why he decided to leave the company of Reebs; my findings were not all favorable. The financial storm I’m in is becoming unbearable and the pressure seems to be mounting up. I devised a possible solution but that solution requires the participation of another party and this week my first request was denied. 

I don’t recall but I don’t believe I have ever woke up with tears in my eyes which lends a new meaning to Bey’s ‘I Woke Up Like This’. So where did the side-eye come in? After I woke up and dried my own tears, my phone buzzed with a text message from a friend requesting prayer because of a storm they are going through. 

Really God? You want me to pray for someone else when I’m in a mess myself? How am I going to minister to anybody when it seems I’m unable to minister to and encourage myself? As these questions entered my head the tears came streaming down even more and it was in that instant, I heard the Holy Spirit instruct me to pray for my friend. As I prayed for her, I felt a calmness come over me. Anxiety exited stage left and the tears dried up. After I prayed she continued to text me things that were on her mind and bothering her - she texted me her heart. I heard the Lord speak loud and clear and instruct me on what to write back to her. One of my responses was this: 

“The Lord hears you and sees you. One of His many names is El Roi - the God who sees. He sees us in our struggle and He knows exactly what we are facing and going through. Be comforted in knowing that the Lord sees your situation and that He is working it out. Have faith in that and stand firm.”

This morning I side-eyed God because He used me to minister to and encourage someone while simultaneously causing me to minister to myself. Yeah - I Woke Up Like This! 

My Blog....My Heart

To the Girrrl Stop Nation!

Please check out this video as I talk about my blog and my heart as it relates to the blog. I also talk about who my core audience is. I love y'all to pieces! 

-Reebs!

Consistency Part 2

Check out Part 2 of the video Consistency. Here I explore a little about what God says about this subject. Actions do speak louder than words!!! Watch what people do! 

Consistency Part 1

Consistency is important in dating when trying to form and cultivate long-lasting relationships. It's vital to whether the relationship lives or dies. Inconsistent behavior is indeed a red flag and should be addressed as soon as you see it. If no corrective action takes place - deuces!!! 

Check out the latest video blog post on this topic! 

Get Rid of Negative Thought Squatters!

Negative thoughts, we all have them from time to time. Sometimes they come in quickly like an express train that is 10 minutes delayed and other times they linger like Baptist church people after service is over. They are the thoughts that can speak to the core of your soul and make it difficult to discern the truth from the lies. Negative thoughts like: I’m not good enough or I’m too much of this or too much of that. Whatever the thoughts may be for you, you can get past them.

One thing about a negative thought is that they rarely show up out of nowhere but rather they been planted some time ago and over time, they’ve been watered by life’s experiences and our beliefs about ourselves. We can almost look at them as seeds that have been planted in our psyche over time, buried beneath and then they grow. I equate negative thoughts to squatters. You know squatters right? The people who take up residence in a property they don’t own.

True story:

Shortly after my father passed away we were left with the task of cleaning out a property that he owned. There were people living in there paying rent to one woman who was living in the house also. She was collecting rent and pocketing cash on a property she didn’t own (yeah Baltimore off da chain!). Long story short, we asked her to leave and she refused. We called the police and much to my surprise they sided with her! We had to go through the courts because apparently squatters have rights! I’ll never forget the day we came to the house when they were actually evicted. Even with the notice on the door they still didn’t believe they were about to be evicted. When we arrived with law enforcement deez fools were cooking breakfast – I can remember the stench of the pork bacon frying on the stove; I didn’t eat bacon for like 3 months after that! The whole ordeal was a complete hot mess!

Just like this woman became a squatter in my father’s property, negative thoughts can squat in our minds, hearts, and spirit. They linger there, hangout, cook up bad smelling breakfast and fully take up residence in a property they don’t own! Glory be to God that the eviction process is not that extensive for the believer and the ‘negative thought squatters’ don’t have rights! The God we serve is the property owner, the law enforcement, the judge and the jury and He can evict them for good! Just hand those thoughts over to Him – relinquish control!

How? Fill your mind with God’s Word! Light and dark can’t co-exists, when light moves in darkness has to exit stage left! God talks about the mind a lot because He knows that it is one of the main weapons in the enemy’s arsenal: to attack the mind. Whether it is to send discouragement, depression, or low self-esteem our way, all of these things start in our minds. That’s why God says to “let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus’ (Phil 2:5) because He knows that’s where the spiritual warfare takes place. So as it relates to the mind focus on these three things: 

• Allow the peace of God to overtake you for a guarded mind in God – Phil 4:6-7, stay in prayer and let your mind and heart be filled with God’s peace. Satan sends distractions and disruptions that cause us anxiety in our minds and spirits. Allow yourself to be filled with God’s peace which will guard your mind from negative thought squatters!
•  Allow yourself to be a living sacrifice for a renewed mind in God – Romans 12:2, keep God’s Word and His Ways front and center in your life. This is the only way to be transformed! Allow God to saturate you so that you can be renewed in Him. Negative thoughts can’t squat in a renewed mind, they may come to visit but they will quickly leave because the environment is not conducive for their lifestyle!
•  Allow yourself to meditate on God’s Word for a refreshed mind in God – Phil 4:8, you have to make the conscious decision to meditate/think on things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely and of good report because this is what will keep the negative thought squatters from taking up residence. Get rid of the “stinkin’ thinkin’”!

Begin to think differently, this will in turn enable you to move differently. Allow God to evict the negative thought squatters so that you can operate fully in Him!

You're Worth It - God's Redirection

Clearly I love inspirational posts – that’s what you get when you visit Girrrl Stop at any of the social media sites (i.e. FB, da gram, & tweetz!); you get inspired! Whether it is a scripture or some sassy, cute quote, I always aim to inspire! Sometimes tho, I get annoyed reading some of these type of posts and my apologies if you do too. I mean how many times am I going to tell women that they are worth it? I think I might be at about 109 times right now! I struggled on what to write this week because this week and in recent weeks, I’ve been the one to actually need the inspiration. At times during the last few weeks I’ve felt discarded, rejected and simply worthless. I felt unworthy to inspire others, unworthy to give instruction/advice and unworthy to be what I know I am: DOPE! It was in this moment that I realized that there is always an audience for even the most repeated message. So for the 110^th time: 

YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

Am I? Yes you are!! You are worth whatever it is you are desiring in your heart and worth God’s very best! How do we get this message misconstrued? How do we go in the wrong direction, spiraling down a hole of doubt & despair? Oh I know – it’s those periods of time where we don’t feel our best and we’re in the ‘valley’. These valley times seem to trip us up because they trick us into believing that the valley is permanent! These times make us believe that U-turns are forbidden and that we will never get back on track and go in the right direction. 

Here’s the good news – God will provide a redirect! Just like our GPS re-directs us when we’ve made a wrong turn, the Holy Spirit will do the same. The valley is temporary and it is this fact that solidifies this statement: 

No matter where you are in your life’s journey, your worth as a woman never changes!

Y’all know Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”. In short: God works everything out for our good – the good He works out for our good – the bad He works out for our good – the ugly He works out for our good – everything! 

So if you’re in the valley today, know that you’re still worth it and still deserving of God’s best! 

On this journey, U-turns are permitted even if they’re in the middle of the street, intersection, or even the highway - wherever! God’s redirection is on the way! 

"Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good. I was actually being re-directed to something better." 

-Steve Maraboli

When Love Exits

I’ve never understood exit interviews in the workplace. I mean, they’re so pointless because nobody will ever truly be honest in the interview, in efforts not to burn bridges. When asked, “Why are you deciding to move on?” no one is going to say to the HR person, “Well I’m moving on because this company sucks, the pay sucks and the people suck!” rather, people will usually give a more diplomatic answer like, “Although I’ve grown immensely from my time here, I was presented with a new opportunity where I’ll be able to take what I’ve learned here and apply it to the next phase of my career” or something like that. The HR Exit interviewer will never hear the real, true reason why someone leaves. 

Well, I’ve discovered that exit interviews in relationships are the same way - a straight, real answer is never given. People will present to you a reason that they feel you want to hear or maybe one that they feel you can handle. When love exits stages left, you’ll rarely know the true reason why. This fact is something you have to be settled on and be able to move forward not knowing. It’s okay really because even though you may not know ‘why’ today, the future has a keen way of revealing the ‘why’ when it presents the next blessing! So at the end of the day, knowing why love exited isn’t really important. 

When Love Shows Up, it shows up in grand fashion, pulling out all the stops! Then love accepts you for who you are at least in that moment of time. Love supports, love challenges, and just when you think love commits, love actually becomes withdrawn and unsure. Depending on the level of ‘fight’ love has within, will determine the next step. If the fight is there, then love will push, love will stand and love will persevere. If not, then, just like that - love exits stage left!

It’s been said that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I agree! I thank love for the experience and for showing me what’s possible. I thank love for being honest about the lack of ‘fight’ within and for diplomacy in the exit interview. Although I may never know the real, true reason why, I’m still glad you were here, even if only for a little while. 

When love exits stage left - God will start writing a new stage play with new plots, new scenes, and new characters! 

Let the new story begin! 

Stop Being A Pen Thief

Listen, I know the Bible says not to steal but trust me, if you hand me a pen or I see a nice one nearby I’m probably going to swipe it! Whether on purpose or by circumstance (like I forgot to give it back) I’m a self-proclaimed pen thief! If you don’t ask for it back, chances are you will never see your pen again lol! Yes, I’m terrible! 

What I have discovered though is that I’m not the only pen thief lurking around deez streets! Some of y'all are undercover pen thieves because you keep stealing the pen that God is trying to write your love story with! Ooop! The Lord is saying, I’m trying to write a beautiful, happy-ending love story for you but every time I turn around, you got the pen in your hand! 

As we are on the eve of Valentine’s Day 2019, I hear the Lord saying, “Daughter, I love you but I don’t need your help”! Stop trying to pen the story the way you want it to go and let God give you what you need. God is trying to give you caring, loving, and attentive and you keep taking the pen and crossing it out for sexy, tall and shallow. Allow God to write and you just be open to the process. Be open to new people and experiences that may look different from the story crafted in your head. Pray for protected exposure so that new things will become visible to you! 

Let God be the author, editor, and publisher of your love story and for goodness sake, stop being a pen thief!    

Make An Effort!

In the world of dating, you have to make an effort to get out and meet new people! Yes you should pray to God and yes you should wait on God but you also have a part to play! 

Make this season of love the one where you do something different :)!!

Enjoy this video and then post your weekend plan ideas in the comments below or on the social media pages. 

-Reebs! 

Your Defining Word for 2019

What is your defining word for 2019? Have you picked one yet? If not, there's still time!! Watch this quick video and then post your word and why you chose it in the comments!!

Don't Let Fear Hold You Back in 2019!

Girrrl! Say bye to fear - it has no place here!! Don't let fear hold you back from your goals this year. The world needs you and your gifts!

Let's do this!!

-Reebs!

Stiletto Steppin' w/Reebs!

Check out what it means to be a 'Stiletto Stepper'! 

-Stand Tall

-Step High

-Stand Out

-Stirs Up

Visit my YouTube channel weekly for 

"Stiletto Steppin' w/Reebs"!

Subscribe! Subscribe! Subscribe!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfz4lgbHtX9_yxc1x8SyJvQ

Be Steadfast - Stay the Course!

No matter what comes your way, stay the course! No matter what distractions come, stay the course! No matter what confusion or chaos comes your way, be steadfast and stay the course!!

It's Just Tuesday!

Today is the first day of the year which for many is a day that represents new beginnings! It’s the day that begins the new diets, the new exercise regimens, and new commitments. I love new commitments just as much as the next person but what I’ve come to realize is that New Year’s Day is not a magical day. It doesn't erase things. If you don’t intentionally make a mindset shift - it’s just Tuesday! 

To create new habits or break old ones you have to be intentional about your willingness to do so. It has nothing to do with it being January 1st but has everything to do with your desires and your actions. When these two collide results are produced! 

One way to set your mindset shift in motion is to develop a defining word for the new year. This word will guide your actions and be the word that shapes your movement for the new year. To figure what your word should be, jot down some words that resonate with you. Your list could look like: 

Productive

Do

Move

Grow

Then from your list pray about which word resonates with you most! For me my 2019 word is: Produce. Take some time and discover what your word is for 2019. 

It is the first day of the new year but remember, without an intentional mindset shift, it’s just Tuesday! 

Have a very happy and productive 2019!