Friday, July 5, 2019

My Blog....My Heart





To the Girrrl Stop Nation!

Please check out this video as I talk about my blog and my heart as it relates to the blog. I also talk about who my core audience is. I love y'all to pieces! 

-Reebs!

Monday, July 1, 2019

Stay Away from “Married” Men!


Before you get your panties in a bunch y’all know good and well I’m not talking about married men as in married to another woman! Just stop it! As far as those matrimonial men are concerned you need to run far away!!! The married men I’m speaking of are those who are married to other things that cause them to become wrapped up in busyness.



I read a quote that said, “If you don’t want a broke man, you’re going to have to put up with a busy man”. Busy in and of itself is not a bad thing! Everyone who is walking in purpose will have things going on in their life, they will not be sitting around twiddling their thumbs! For instance, a musician is usually purposed to his music, or a writer is purposed to their craft, and a business owner is purposed to growing his business. Purpose is one thing but marriage is another. When the business owner is ‘married’ to the business, nothing or no one else matters. Every action is about growing their business and they do not make time for anything or anyone else – they are unbalanced. I think that there is a season where you will have to be married to whatever that ‘thing’ is for you, there is a grind period where you will not be able to do anything else and that is totally okay as long as you are honest about that season and recognize it for what it is. When the ‘married’ person tries to take on a relationship, their unavailability, unwillingness to accommodate and make adjustments will cause extreme frustration and cause the relationship to starve and die. When dating someone, it is important to uncover if they are ‘married’ and discern right away whether they willing to make adjustments to accommodate the both of you.

We all want someone who has things going on in their life. In fact, I encourage all women within the Girrrl Stop Nation to have a life – know your purpose! The issue becomes when someone is married to the things in their life and not willing to make room for you or for your relationship. The relationship doesn’t stand a chance when you’re with the married man! I use the term ‘starve’ above because a relationship is something that you have to feed in order for it to grow. You have to feed it time, energy, vulnerability, and transparency if it’s ever going to have a chance to blossom into something beautiful.

The ‘married’ man is unable to feed the relationship therefore it becomes malnourished, withers and dies. A ‘married’ man will not be able to be into you: he won’t have the capacity, capability or desire to do so, even if he wants to. He will not make time for you and he will not know how to. You will not be a priority to him and in some cases you will actually be irrelevant to him, he will not even want to make you a priority (yes I know this one is harsh but it is what it is). I’m only scratching the surface of this topic and will unpack some of these in future posts.

For now, here are a few signs that may indicate you are involved with a ‘married’ man:
-You have to initiate time spent for the two of you (you’re the only one initiating)
-He has to work too hard to pencil you into his schedule
-He makes little to no effort in the relationship
-You feel single even though you’re in a relationship
-Disappointing you doesn’t seem to faze him
-He leaves you wondering

These are just a few for you to think about. I’m all for dating a man with purpose and in purpose; you can rest assured that man will be busy! Busy isn’t the problem rather the problem is lack of balance. The ‘married’ man is unbalanced which usually leads to him putting in little effort into the growth of the relationship. As we’ve all heard before, a person will make time for what they truly want to do – period!

Ladies, if he’s ‘married’, I’d advise you to hit the nearest exit!

Monday, June 24, 2019

Consistency Part 2



Check out Part 2 of the video Consistency. Here I explore a little about what God says about this subject. Actions do speak louder than words!!! Watch what people do! 

Consistency Part 1


Consistency is important in dating when trying to form and cultivate long-lasting relationships. It's vital to whether the relationship lives or dies. Inconsistent behavior is indeed a red flag and should be addressed as soon as you see it. If no corrective action takes place - deuces!!! 

Check out the latest video blog post on this topic! 

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Get Rid of Negative Thought Squatters!


Negative thoughts, we all have them from time to time. Sometimes they come in quickly like an express train that is 10 minutes delayed and other times they linger like Baptist church people after service is over. They are the thoughts that can speak to the core of your soul and make it difficult to discern the truth from the lies. Negative thoughts like: I’m not good enough or I’m too much of this or too much of that. Whatever the thoughts may be for you, you can get past them.

One thing about a negative thought is that they rarely show up out of nowhere but rather they been planted some time ago and over time, they’ve been watered by life’s experiences and our beliefs about ourselves. We can almost look at them as seeds that have been planted in our psyche over time, buried beneath and then they grow. I equate negative thoughts to squatters. You know squatters right? The people who take up residence in a property they don’t own.

True story:
Shortly after my father passed away we were left with the task of cleaning out a property that he owned. There were people living in there paying rent to one woman who was living in the house also. She was collecting rent and pocketing cash on a property she didn’t own (yeah Baltimore off da chain!). Long story short, we asked her to leave and she refused. We called the police and much to my surprise they sided with her! We had to go through the courts because apparently squatters have rights! I’ll never forget the day we came to the house when they were actually evicted. Even with the notice on the door they still didn’t believe they were about to be evicted. When we arrived with law enforcement deez fools were cooking breakfast – I can remember the stench of the pork bacon frying on the stove; I didn’t eat bacon for like 3 months after that! The whole ordeal was a complete hot mess!

Just like this woman became a squatter in my father’s property, negative thoughts can squat in our minds, hearts, and spirit. They linger there, hangout, cook up bad smelling breakfast and fully take up residence in a property they don’t own! Glory be to God that the eviction process is not that extensive for the believer and the ‘negative thought squatters’ don’t have rights! The God we serve is the property owner, the law enforcement, the judge and the jury and He can evict them for good! Just hand those thoughts over to Him – relinquish control!

How? Fill your mind with God’s Word! Light and dark can’t co-exists, when light moves in darkness has to exit stage left! God talks about the mind a lot because He knows that it is one of the main weapons in the enemy’s arsenal: to attack the mind. Whether it is to send discouragement, depression, or low self-esteem our way, all of these things start in our minds. That’s why God says to “let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus’ (Phil 2:5) because He knows that’s where the spiritual warfare takes place. So as it relates to the mind focus on these three things: 

  • Allow the peace of God to overtake you for a guarded mind in God – Phil 4:6-7, stay in prayer and let your mind and heart be filled with God’s peace. Satan sends distractions and disruptions that cause us anxiety in our minds and spirits. Allow yourself to be filled with God’s peace which will guard your mind from negative thought squatters!
  •  Allow yourself to be a living sacrifice for a renewed mind in God – Romans 12:2, keep God’s Word and His Ways front and center in your life. This is the only way to be transformed! Allow God to saturate you so that you can be renewed in Him. Negative thoughts can’t squat in a renewed mind, they may come to visit but they will quickly leave because the environment is not conducive for their lifestyle!
  •  Allow yourself to meditate on God’s Word for a refreshed mind in God – Phil 4:8, you have to make the conscious decision to meditate/think on things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely and of good report because this is what will keep the negative thought squatters from taking up residence. Get rid of the “stinkin’ thinkin’”!


Begin to think differently, this will in turn enable you to move differently. Allow God to evict the negative thought squatters so that you can operate fully in Him!


Thursday, March 21, 2019

You're Worth It - God's Redirection



Clearly I love inspirational posts – that’s what you get when you visit Girrrl Stop at any of the social media sites (i.e. FB, da gram, & tweetz!); you get inspired! Whether it is a scripture or some sassy, cute quote, I always aim to inspire! Sometimes tho, I get annoyed reading some of these type of posts and my apologies if you do too. I mean how many times am I going to tell women that they are worth it? I think I might be at about 109 times right now! I struggled on what to write this week because this week and in recent weeks, I’ve been the one to actually need the inspiration. At times during the last few weeks I’ve felt discarded, rejected and simply worthless. I felt unworthy to inspire others, unworthy to give instruction/advice and unworthy to be what I know I am: DOPE! It was in this moment that I realized that there is always an audience for even the most repeated message. So for the 110th time: 
YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

Am I? Yes you are!! You are worth whatever it is you are desiring in your heart and worth God’s very best! How do we get this message misconstrued? How do we go in the wrong direction, spiraling down a hole of doubt & despair? Oh I know – it’s those periods of time where we don’t feel our best and we’re in the ‘valley’. These valley times seem to trip us up because they trick us into believing that the valley is permanent! These times make us believe that U-turns are forbidden and that we will never get back on track and go in the right direction. 

Here’s the good news – God will provide a redirect! Just like our GPS re-directs us when we’ve made a wrong turn, the Holy Spirit will do the same. The valley is temporary and it is this fact that solidifies this statement: 

No matter where you are in your life’s journey, your worth as a woman never changes!

Y’all know Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”. In short: God works everything out for our good – the good He works out for our good – the bad He works out for our good – the ugly He works out for our good – everything! 

So if you’re in the valley today, know that you’re still worth it and still deserving of God’s best! 

On this journey, U-turns are permitted even if they’re in the middle of the street, intersection, or even the highway - wherever! God’s redirection is on the way! 

"Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good. I was actually being re-directed to something better." 

-Steve Maraboli

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

When Love Exits

I’ve never understood exit interviews in the workplace. I mean, they’re so pointless because nobody will ever truly be honest in the interview, in efforts not to burn bridges. When asked, “Why are you deciding to move on?” no one is going to say to the HR person, “Well I’m moving on because this company sucks, the pay sucks and the people suck!” rather, people will usually give a more diplomatic answer like, “Although I’ve grown immensely from my time here, I was presented with a new opportunity where I’ll be able to take what I’ve learned here and apply it to the next phase of my career” or something like that. The HR Exit interviewer will never hear the real, true reason why someone leaves. 

Well, I’ve discovered that exit interviews in relationships are the same way - a straight, real answer is never given. People will present to you a reason that they feel you want to hear or maybe one that they feel you can handle. When love exits stages left, you’ll rarely know the true reason why. This fact is something you have to be settled on and be able to move forward not knowing. It’s okay really because even though you may not know ‘why’ today, the future has a keen way of revealing the ‘why’ when it presents the next blessing! So at the end of the day, knowing why love exited isn’t really important. 


When Love Shows Up, it shows up in grand fashion, pulling out all the stops! Then love accepts you for who you are at least in that moment of time. Love supports, love challenges, and just when you think love commits, love actually becomes withdrawn and unsure. Depending on the level of ‘fight’ love has within, will determine the next step. If the fight is there, then love will push, love will stand and love will persevere. If not, then, just like that - love exits stage left!

It’s been said that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I agree! I thank love for the experience and for showing me what’s possible. I thank love for being honest about the lack of ‘fight’ within and for diplomacy in the exit interview. Although I may never know the real, true reason why, I’m still glad you were here, even if only for a little while. 

When love exits stage left - God will start writing a new stage play with new plots, new scenes, and new characters! 


Let the new story begin! 



Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Stop Being A Pen Thief

Listen, I know the Bible says not to steal but trust me, if you hand me a pen or I see a nice one nearby I’m probably going to swipe it! Whether on purpose or by circumstance (like I forgot to give it back) I’m a self-proclaimed pen thief! If you don’t ask for it back, chances are you will never see your pen again lol! Yes, I’m terrible! 

What I have discovered though is that I’m not the only pen thief lurking around deez streets! Some of y'all are undercover pen thieves because you keep stealing the pen that God is trying to write your love story with! Ooop! The Lord is saying, I’m trying to write a beautiful, happy-ending love story for you but every time I turn around, you got the pen in your hand! 


As we are on the eve of Valentine’s Day 2019, I hear the Lord saying, “Daughter, I love you but I don’t need your help”! Stop trying to pen the story the way you want it to go and let God give you what you need. God is trying to give you caring, loving, and attentive and you keep taking the pen and crossing it out for sexy, tall and shallow. Allow God to write and you just be open to the process. Be open to new people and experiences that may look different from the story crafted in your head. Pray for protected exposure so that new things will become visible to you! 

Let God be the author, editor, and publisher of your love story and for goodness sake, stop being a pen thief!    


Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Make An Effort!


In the world of dating, you have to make an effort to get out and meet new people! Yes you should pray to God and yes you should wait on God but you also have a part to play! 

Make this season of love the one where you do something different :)!!

Enjoy this video and then post your weekend plan ideas in the comments below or on the social media pages. 

-Reebs! 

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Your Defining Word for 2019


What is your defining word for 2019? Have you picked one yet? If not, there's still time!! Watch this quick video and then post your word and why you chose it in the comments!!

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Don't Let Fear Hold You Back in 2019!

Girrrl! Say bye to fear - it has no place here!! Don't let fear hold you back from your goals this year. The world needs you and your gifts!

Let's do this!!



-Reebs!

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Stiletto Steppin' w/Reebs!


Check out what it means to be a 'Stiletto Stepper'! 
-Stand Tall
-Step High
-Stand Out
-Stirs Up

Visit my YouTube channel weekly for 
"Stiletto Steppin' w/Reebs"!

Subscribe! Subscribe! Subscribe!


Monday, January 7, 2019

Be Steadfast - Stay the Course!



No matter what comes your way, stay the course! No matter what distractions come, stay the course! No matter what confusion or chaos comes your way, be steadfast and stay the course!!

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

It's Just Tuesday!

Today is the first day of the year which for many is a day that represents new beginnings! It’s the day that begins the new diets, the new exercise regimens, and new commitments. I love new commitments just as much as the next person but what I’ve come to realize is that New Year’s Day is not a magical day. It doesn't erase things. If you don’t intentionally make a mindset shift - it’s just Tuesday! 



To create new habits or break old ones you have to be intentional about your willingness to do so. It has nothing to do with it being January 1st but has everything to do with your desires and your actions. When these two collide results are produced! 

One way to set your mindset shift in motion is to develop a defining word for the new year. This word will guide your actions and be the word that shapes your movement for the new year. To figure what your word should be, jot down some words that resonate with you. Your list could look like: 

Productive
Do
Move
Grow

Then from your list pray about which word resonates with you most! For me my 2019 word is: Produce. Take some time and discover what your word is for 2019. 


It is the first day of the new year but remember, without an intentional mindset shift, it’s just Tuesday! 

Have a very happy and productive 2019! 

My Blog....My Heart

To the Girrrl Stop Nation! Please check out this video as I talk about my blog and my heart as it relates to the blog. I also talk...