Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Committing and/or Allowing Grand Larceny On Your TIME!

A good friend passed along a link to a Forbes article that talked about what successful people agree as the most valuable asset: Time (

Of course this related to the business world but it made me ponder a bit on how it relates to relationships and the value that we place on our time. As the article points out, time is that one thing we can’t get back. Once an hour is gone, it’s gone! Time is our greatest commodity and should be treated as such. So what does this have to do with relationships? Everything! Who you chose to spend your time with or even how much time you give someone can directly impact your relationship success or failure. 

For instance, if your goal is to be married, be mindful of giving time to a man that has marriage no where on his radar! If you desire a committed relationship, stop giving time to the man that wants to play! 

Beware of those who commit Grand Larceny on your time!

Who are the male time thieves?
  1. The man that knows he has no good intentions for you yet continues to take up your time ‘hanging out’ and ‘kicking it’. 
  2. The man who is in process and getting himself together, priorities, etc., he’s not ready for a relationship and knows it. He is a time-suck. 
I could go on but I think the point is clear here. Don’t allow people to steal your time from you! Why you out wasting time with this fool, you missing out on spending time with the real deal! 

Now let me flip it here! 

Ladies, stop spending time with men who you know you are not interested in. Stop using men for free dinners, concert tickets etc. (many of us are past that and we on to mortgage/rent and car payments but you get my point!).

Who are the female time thieves? 
  1. You know good and well that you don’t like this man, ain’t attracted to him spiritually or physically yet you steady going out to dinner with him and letting this man spend his money. You are a time suck!
  2. You know you are still healing from that last situationship and that you are no where near being ready to date seriously and fairly, but you are accepting dates! - Girrrl Stop!

Some of y'all committing grand larceny on folks and y'all need to arrested and corrected! The Bible puts it this way, John 10:10a - The thief does not come except to steal, kill and to destroy. 

How to know for sure if you’re guilty (Men and Women)? 

Are you stealing, killing and destroying?

Steal - When you take up people’s time knowing that you are not interested, you are a thief! I’m not talking about that relationship that you were genuine about but it just didn’t work out but rather, the one you entered into already knowing you are looking for the next best thing. 

Kill - Due to your disdain for people’s time and feelings alike, you kill their belief in love, their hope that love can actually happen because of their dealings with you. Your bad intentions and poor behavior kills the game!

Destroy - When you steal time and kill people’s spirits, you destroy any chance for fruitful interactions to occur. Every person you meet is not necessarily a relationship prospect but they could be a potential friend, business partner, or just someone who sows into your life to give you what you need to advance to the next level. God may be trying to introduce you to someone and you destroy the chance for the partnership to be fruitful (whatever that fruit may be) due to your disrespect of people's time. 

Point is, handle people with care because even if they are not for you, they are for someone so don’t bruise them before they get to the person God really has for them. 

Also, don’t allow the thief into your life. But if the thief happens to slip in due to their charming manipulation, go to the John 10: 10b-11 which tells us, “I (Jesus Christ) have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd gives His life for the sheep”. As always, keep your focus on Christ and treat people the way you know He would want you to treat them. 

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Girrrl Stop! Get Something to Drink!!!

Have you ever been so dehydrated that when you finally get something to drink, you don’t care what it is as long as it was cold and wet? It doesn’t matter much what it is because quenching your thirst is the only thing that matters at that point in time! This is ok on that super hot summer day but this doesn’t fly well in relationships. 

Girrrl Stop being ‘Relationally Dehydrated’! 

Most people would refer to this as ‘being thirsty’ and as much as I loathe that term it applies sometimes. Let’s define what relationally dehydrated is versus what it is not. 

You are NOT Relationally Dehydrated when: 
  1. You express your feelings to someone and be genuinely honest with them
  2. You proactively let someone know that you are interested - men aren’t mind readers
  3. You are showing genuine interest in someone who’s reciprocating that interest
  4. Participate in healthy relationships

You are Relationally Dehydrated when: 
  1. You continue to settle for less than God’s best for you 
  2. You continue to enter into relationships with men who are unavailable in one form or another
  3. You continue to pursue men rather that allowing them to pursue you
  4. Participate in toxic relationships 

When you’re relationally dehydrated you settle for almost anyone and any type of behavior. Girrrl Stop and get something to drink please! Don’t be the woman that’s with a man just to say she has one. When the reality is with all of his junk and drama you don’t really have a man anyway. You end up having a bunch of headaches and unnecessary stress in your life! 

Hydration in the natural comes about with drinking adequate water hence staying hydrated. Being the fabulous Christian woman that you are your hydration comes from the Word of God which is the living water! Just as Jesus told the Samarian woman at the well ‘whoever drinks of this water will thirst again but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give them will never thirst’ John 4. See we stay dehydrated when we constantly drink the water that the world offers: 

  1. The world says, time is running out, you’re biological clock is ticking - this causes many women to go completely nuts and date the first man that walks through the door! This ‘fear’ leads to many toxic relationships and just plain ole poor decisions. 
  2. God says, I transcend time - if we focused on God as the author of time, this would calm the angst that the world tries to stir up. He is the Aleph and the Tav (you may be more familiar with the Greek translation Alpha and Omega) which means he is the beginning and the end. If God has the start and the finish, why stress over the middle! Just remain open to the Holy Spirit and God’s direction for your life! 

When we focus on God’s Word and stand on His promises for our life according to His Word, we will stay fully hydrated and be able to discern those sent by God versus the imposters. Knowing who you are in Christ and allowing God to make you whole and keep you whole is the key to never being thirsty  for the wrong things again. See the woman in John 4 was Relationally Dehydrated, in other words she was a bit of a wreck:  

-She had 5 husbands
-The man she was with currently was someone else’s husband (yeah everything is in the Book!)

However after her encounter with Jesus Christ, her life was never the same. 

Girrrl go get a drink of the Living Water and quench your thirst! 

Do the Work in 2024!

Happy New Year Girrrl!  I pray that the first 3 days in 2024 have been fruitful!  As women, God has called you to do the work in 2024. It...