I read a recent Facebook post that said:
Is that woman still there? Did you still let her rent that apartment in your sub-conscience? Is she traveling down to your heart for groceries? The longer you let her take up residence in the neighborhood the more havoc she can wreak in your life due to her poor decision making. She’s an expert at spotting the wrong opportunity and treating it like the right one so yeah - she gotta go!
Cut ties with her today! If you don’t, she will just allow the same behavior to creep into your life but from a different person. You made it through that disrespectful ex, fake friend, abusive family member, or even the toxic co-worker - why go through that again! You’ve moved on, you’ve healed and you’ve leveled up!
I have to admit, everything I wrote above sounds great (toots horn) but it’s only the ‘what’ which doesn’t help you in a practical way. Most social media posts focus on the ‘what’:
-What you should do
-What mindset you should adopt
-What direction you should take
But rarely do any of them provide the ‘how’. That is what will truly help you right? Discovering the ‘what’ is only half the battle. Learning the ‘how’ is where the true change will take place.
What: Cut ties with the version of you who allowed that treatment to go on
How: How does she cut ties with the version of herself who allowed that treatment to go on?
This process requires some digging and honestly it gets down right ugly. Cutting ties with a certain version of yourself really means cutting ties with toxic behaviors that you possess on the inside of you that are limiting your growth, expansion and forward mobility. The process involves cutting ties with limiting beliefs, skewed self-views, lies you believe about yourself and so on - see how this can get ugly?
Of course this takes some real introspection in order to work through but here are 3 quick tips for cutting ties with that version of yourself who allowed disrespectful behavior from others:
-Take the time to identify one belief/thought/view that is toxic. This seems like an easy step but it’s a grueling one because it requires you to be brutally honest with yourself. Do you secretly believe you don’t deserve love because of past mistakes or maybe because you don’t feel like you’re good enough? Do you believe that you don’t deserve respect because of some skewed view you have of yourself? These are some of the things you’ll need to work through to complete this step. Identification is the first part of this process.
-Once identified, replace those toxic thoughts with positive thoughts. Even if you don’t believe it just yet, just keep speaking it until you do. Take out God’s Word and see what God says about you and stand on those thoughts! Our words have the power to shape our reality so speak strong, kind, uplifting words to yourself. Replace the negative thoughts with the positive ones. Use God’s Word to solidify it! When you begin to do this, that version of yourself that you need to cut will have to vacate the premises! She won’t be able to live in this new house!
-Surround yourself with a squad who will help you “Squad Up”! To “Squad Up” is when everyone in the squad is committed to leveling up and holding each other accountable for wherever you are in your respective journeys! No woman is an island but use discernment when choosing those to surround yourself with. Pray on these choices. Make sure members of the Squad are like-minded and ready to go get it! Try to get around some ladies who are smarter than you are because quite frankly, if you’re the smartest one in your squad, you need a new one! This is the season to build so get with some other great minds and “Squad Up”!
I’m committed to helping the women in my squad to “Squad Up” -
Girrrl Stop Squad!