Squad Up!

I read a recent Facebook post that said: 

Is that woman still there? Did you still let her rent that apartment in your sub-conscience? Is she traveling down to your heart for groceries? The longer you let her take up residence in the neighborhood the more havoc she can wreak in your life due to her poor decision making. She’s an expert at spotting the wrong opportunity and treating it like the right one so yeah - she gotta go!  

Cut ties with her today! If you don’t, she will just allow the same behavior to creep into your life but from a different person. You made it through that disrespectful ex, fake friend, abusive family member, or even the toxic co-worker - why go through that again! You’ve moved on, you’ve healed and you’ve leveled up! 

I have to admit, everything I wrote above sounds great (toots horn) but it’s only the ‘what’ which doesn’t help you in a practical way. Most social media posts focus on the ‘what’: 

-What you should do

-What mindset you should adopt

-What direction you should take

-etc…

But rarely do any of them provide the ‘how’. That is what will truly help you right? Discovering the ‘what’ is only half the battle. Learning the ‘how’ is where the true change will take place. 

What: Cut ties with the version of you who allowed that treatment to go on

How: How does she cut ties with the version of herself who allowed that treatment to go on? 

This process requires some digging and honestly it gets down right ugly. Cutting ties with a certain version of yourself really means cutting ties with toxic behaviors that you possess on the inside of you that are limiting your growth, expansion and forward mobility. The process involves cutting ties with limiting beliefs, skewed self-views, lies you believe about yourself and so on - see how this can get ugly? 

Of course this takes some real introspection in order to work through but here are 3 quick tips for cutting ties with that version of yourself who allowed disrespectful behavior from others: 

-Take the time to identify one belief/thought/view that is toxic. This seems like an easy step but it’s a grueling one because it requires you to be brutally honest with yourself. Do you secretly believe you don’t deserve love because of past mistakes or maybe because you don’t feel like you’re good enough? Do you believe that you don’t deserve respect because of some skewed view you have of yourself? These are some of the things you’ll need to work through to complete this step. Identification is the first part of this process. 

-Once identified, replace those toxic thoughts with positive thoughts. Even if you don’t believe it just yet, just keep speaking it until you do. Take out God’s Word and see what God says about you and stand on those thoughts! Our words have the power to shape our reality so speak strong, kind, uplifting words to yourself. Replace the negative thoughts with the positive ones. Use God’s Word to solidify it! When you begin to do this, that version of yourself that you need to cut will have to vacate the premises! She won’t be able to live in this new house!

-Surround yourself with a squad who will help you “Squad Up”! To “Squad Up” is when everyone in the squad is committed to leveling up and holding each other accountable for wherever you are in your respective journeys! No woman is an island but use discernment when choosing those to surround yourself with. Pray on these choices. Make sure members of the Squad are like-minded and ready to go get it! Try to get around some ladies who are smarter than you are because quite frankly, if you’re the smartest one in your squad, you need a new one! This is the season to build so get with some other great minds and “Squad Up”! 

I’m committed to helping the women in my squad to “Squad Up” - 

Girrrl Stop Squad! 

Let’s Go! 

Do You Want It?

I’m always amazed when I cut off the lights in my room at night. When I first turn them off I can’t see anything and I literally feel my way through to my bed. But something happens halfway through on this short journey - my eyes adjust to the darkness and then I can see better than I could a few seconds ago. Life can be that way too because when you’re in a place of brokenness it is hard to see your way through so you begin to reach out and feel your way. But at some point while in a dark place, your eyes begin to adjust and you begin to adjust to the darkness, the dysfunction, and the despair. The darkness in your life is so overwhelming that you begin to adjust to the new normal there. These are mere survival tactics while in your place of brokenness but ladies we are called to come out of that place and not dwell there. 

I’m reminded of the Biblical story of the of the pool of Bethesda where a multitude of sick people laid out waiting for the move of the water. An angel would come down at a certain time each year and stir the water, the first person to get in would be healed of their infirmity. At this pool was a man who had an infirmity for 38 years! Let me park here for a moment. This passage of scripture speaks of people with physical infirmities but I want to address those with mental and emotional infirmities as well. You’ve been in this place for a long time - place of depression, brokenness, anger, bitterness, lack of forgiveness, low self-worth, poor self-image, people-pleasing, and the list goes on. Sometimes we remain in these places and sit on these “porches” for so long that we become accustomed to life there. We give up any hope of coming out because we’ve come to a place of acceptance that this is how it is and how it’s going to be. I wonder what the man at Bethesda did year after year of being at the pool, not doing anything for himself and probably feeling hopeless. I mean knowing that the angel came at a certain time each year one would think that he would make preparation to be ready for the next time the angel showed up. I would think he would push himself, roll himself, beg someone to put him close to the edge of the pool so he’d be ready for the next stirring of the water! But instead, he just laid there. 

Is this you? Are you just laying in whatever broken state you’re in? Not doing anything to try to come out of that place. Have you lost hope? Well the story doesn’t end there, the man at the pool then has an encounter with Jesus! The scripture says in John 5:6, “When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him ‘Do you want to be made well?’” I’ll give you a minute to shout right there!! I want to focus on the word “knew”. Jesus already knew the man’s situation, He already knew his infirmity, He already knew that he had been there a long time! So it makes sense that Jesus’ first question to the man was ‘Do you want to be made well’? I love this question and I believe it is the question that Jesus is asking those of you who may be in a state of infirmity, despair or brokenness - do you want to be made well. You’ve been in this place for so long and Jesus is asking ‘do you want to be made well’? It’s no question that Jesus could heal the man just like it’s no question that Jesus can heal you - the question remains ‘do you want it?’ Do you want to be happy? Do you want to have joy? Do you want to be healed? 

When Jesus posed this question to the man his initial response was to make an excuse! According to John 5:7, he replied, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool; but while I am coming, another steps down before me”. Jesus didn’t come back with a snappy response like, “that’s not what I asked you!” but rather He spoke in His authority and told the man, “Rise, take up your bed and walk”. The Bible says that ‘immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked’. 

I encourage you today to seek the face of God, spend time in His presence and hear from Him. I believe God wants to deliver you and bring you to a place of freedom in Him! Do the work you need to do for yourself, now is the appointed time! I believe that most people ‘want it’, whatever that ‘it’ means for you but I believe that the issue is your belief in whether you can actually have it! 

Let’s Pray

Father God we bless your name right now and honor you as healer in our lives. We fully submit our lives over to you so that you can shape, make and mold us into what you want us to be. You said in your Word that if we delight ourselves in you, you would give us the desires of our hearts. We desire to be free in you, free from the stronghold of depression, anxiety, doubt, and despair. We are your children and we believe what you have said about us in your Word. Lord, forgive us for unbelief and help us to stand firm and strong in your Word. Lord we love you, we adore you, we magnify you and make you great in our lives today! It’s in the name of Jesus that I pray this prayer. Amen.