Taken Back!

Have you ever seen the movie series Taken, starring Liam Neeson? It’s a story about two 18-year old girls, Kim and Amanda, who travel to Paris, France only to end up being abducted and ‘taken’ into a human trafficking ring. Neeson plays Bryan Mills, a retired CIA agent with special sniper-like skills; he’s Kim’s father in the movie. Kim (played by Maggie Grace) was a ‘good girl’ in the movie, still a virgin unlike her friend. She was excited about her trip to Paris although her father was completely opposed to it. While on the phone with her Dad, she saw her friend get taken from another room in the house and her Dad let her know that she would inevitably be next. So Bryan Mills goes to Paris and does some heavy investigative work and eventually finds his daughter to bring her back home.  So let’s take a look at this movie a little further and see how we can extract some biblical truths from it for the New Year!

The Father knows what we can handle. 

Kim’s father was opposed to her taking a trip to Paris with her friend because he felt she was not mature enough to handle it. How many times do we ignore the instruction of God? We think that we have everything figured out only to discover that we’ve gotten ourselves into a mess. God knows what we’re ready to handle and sometimes he tells us NO for our own good. Why do we continually choose to not trust him and go our own way? God’s Word provides instructions for every area of our lives, just read it and follow it. Trust me! I’ve learned this lesson the hard way so I know first-hand that it pays to trust God. In the movie, she went against what her father said and ended up being taken into human trafficking. Not following God’s way leads to disaster so trust him because he knows what we can handle. 

The Father will search for you. 

Once Kim and her friend was taken her father immediately travelled to Paris to find her. No matter where you are in your Christian walk or even how far you may have strayed, God will search for you and find you. He will be relentless in his search for you, your heart, your mind and your soul. He is indeed the Good Shepherd who searches for his lost sheep. John 10:11 states, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep”. Bryan Mills didn’t stop until he found his daughter and the Lord will not stop until he finds you.

The Father wants you back.

Towards the end of the movie when Kim was sold to the highest bidder her father was able to find her and make it onto the boat where she was being held. When the guards discovered that they had an intruder, the man who purchased Kim asked what was going on and the head guard replied, “Nothing, the girl’s father wants her back”. God does want you back! No matter what happened in 2015 or past years, God is speaking restoration. He wants to do a new thing! Believe it or not, God misses you. You used to depend on Him wholeheartedly, you used to love Him without distraction and now He’s calling out to you because he loves you and wants you back! Know that there will be some correction involved because he loves you but even through the correction, he wants you back in right relationship with Him.   

Being a child of God can preserve you in not so good times. 

This is an extra point but one that stuck with me. I mentioned earlier in this post that Kim was a virgin and Amanda was not. This is significant because in the human trafficking business, virgins are high commodities. Non-virgins are essentially drugged right away and then sent right to work. Bryan Mills did find Amanda also but by the time he found her, she was already dead. His daughter was preserved because of her virginity which gave him more time to find her. The point here is this, being a child of God and in the family of Christ can preserve you in times when you may not be at your best. Staying in prayer and letting the Holy Spirit work within you can preserve you in tough times, trying times. It pays to stay connected to Christ. 

In the coming New Year I encourage you to go in a new direction. You’ve tried everything else now try God’s way. Start this New Year the right way and watch God lead and guide you through 2016. Know that He knows what’s best for you but if you happen to get off track, he will search for you because he does want you back. 

To the Girrrl Stop Nation, best wishes for a productive, purpose-filled 2016!

If he's not your boyfriend then...

Well Christmas is a few days away and no, I won’t reiterate the true meaning of Christmas or as the cliche goes, ‘the reason for the season’. You know that already! I’m going to do a few posts on this subject because I’m beginning to hear it too often. Honestly, I don’t know where to begin! 

I’ve run into more than a few ladies who are in situationships! 

**Situationship - A fake relationship masking itself as a formative relationship. It smells like a relationship, it sorta looks like a relationship, and it may even feel like one, but it's not.**

And it’s like clockwork, every few months or so they’re asking these men, “what are we doing? where is this going?" These particular men (of course this isn't all men, only a select few) give vague answers if they even answer at all. Ladies, please stop entertaining this foolishness. This is not God’s best for you. If a man truly wants you, he will claim you, period. Nah, I ain’t quoting Harvey or any of those other self-proclaimed relationship experts, I’m just stating fact. Don’t be confused or fooled by these fraudulent, fake relationships. 

I’ll go a little deeper in a later post but for purposes of this post so close to Christmas, if he’s not your boyfriend then - Girrrl Stop buying deez Ninjas stuff! You haven’t even solidified if you are in a relationship with this man and you buying him gifts! Why? Let me ask again, why?

Fact: You can’t buy love

Fact: You can’t buy commitment

No amount of money will get a man to commit to you who’s not ready or who doesn’t want to. Period. So stop it!

This is what we not gon’ do for 2016!!!

So listen carefully: 

-Put your debit cards down

-Back away from your LV Bag 

-Put that cash back in your wallet

-And for crying out loud, put the credit cards away!

-Save all that sweet, niceness for someone who really deserves it!

So Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa and all that but you better not have one gift under the tree, I don’t care if it’s Umoja or Nia; resolve to be unified with someone who wants to be with you fully and focus on your purpose without your hand in your purse!

Yeah I know - You can’t! 

Ok, that’s all - for now. 

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Whatchu Say?

I read a quote emailed to me the other day which stated, "Believe that you're amazing". It was in that moment of reading it that I realized the level of our belief matches our level of greatness. A million people can think you're amazing but if you don't believe it, that amazing wow factor will never manifest itself in your life. God has told us who we are through this Word but do we believe it? 

-God says we are more than conquerors yet we fold at the first sign of adversity 

-God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made yet out insecurity levels are at peak

-God says we are a royal priesthood, a chosen generation yet our behavior exhibits well beneath who we are

Allowing what God says about you to seep into your spirit, will then change what you say about yourself! Once your speech changes your belief will follow!

Tell yourself you're amazing!  - Believe It!

Tell yourself you're great! - Believe it! 

Tell yourself you're awesome! - Believe It!

Tell yourself what God says about you!!! - Believe It!!!!

Why? Because God operates off of what we believe. 

In the ninth chapter of Matthew, Jesus encounters two blind men who asked for healing. Jesus then asked them a simple question, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" Ah! What a question! The blind men replied, "Yes, Lord" and Jesus said, "According to your faith let it be to you" and their eyes were opened. Jesus questioned their belief because your belief speaks to your level of faith. At the end of the day, the question is never can God do it, of course He can! The question is do you believe that He can do it, whatever that 'it' is for you. 

Lord help us in our unbelief and help us to be mindful of what we say to ourselves.    

Talking negative to yourself? Girrrl Stop! 

Doubting what God says in His Word? Girrrl Stop! 

There is greatness in you - Believe it!

"What's in between your ears is your pathway or hindrance to greatness - the choice is yours"

-Reebs

Girrrl Don't Stop the Shift!

During a recent vacation with some girlfriends we enjoyed a half day at the spa. The name of spa was Metamorphosis Day Spa. During the spa time we enjoyed time in the sauna which was extremely hot and relaxing. I closed my eyes and my friends begin to joke around asking what I was doing and I answered them truthfully: I'm meditating on God's Word. Still in a jovial tone they asked, "Well give us a Word!" As the Lord was speaking to me I shared with them that 2015 was the year of Metamorphosis! 

Metamorphosis is a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one by natural or supernatural means. I believe for many of us God used 2015 as a year of development and training, hiding us in our cocoon while he proceeded to transform us by the renewing of our minds! So all of the trials, struggles, hardships, heartaches, heartbreaks, headaches, disappointments, victories and wins were all for our development. God is bringing us into a new season with new challenges, new tests, and new blessings! We had to go through it to be ready for the place where God is bringing us.

So don't fret the process because it's all apart of the supernatural metamorphosis that God is performing in your life! 

Girrrl DON'T Stop the SHIFT!!!

Live Now!

Is Your Spiritual House Ready?

Earlier this week a high school classmate was called from this life to be with the Lord. To those who were really close to her, this was indeed a blow. This is the year that most of us turned 40, a milestone of sorts, an age where we should be celebrating nuptials, baby showers, advanced degrees, and new businesses, it shakes us to our core when we have to face the death of a peer. At age 40, we’ve lived a little bit but in our mind we’re no older than we were the day we graduated high school or college even. There is a small corner of our psyche where the thoughts of being immortal lives until it hits us head on that we are not. My classmate’s battle with Lupus came to an end in the year that she turned 40. 

Death is a lot to digest and it’s even more difficult when the death happens at what we deem to be a young age. So many questions come into our minds as we prepare to bury a classmate, not someone 80 or 90 years old but someone who was only 40. I viewed many FaceBook posts that asked the question, “Why?” Why so young? Why now? God, why couldn’t you send a healing? Why? It is natural to have these questions and even natural to feel sadness, disappointment and even anger, it’s all apart of the grief process. But even while we are in this process and have these questions we have to also know that God is in total control. Even when the situation doesn’t go the way we would have liked, God is in control. Even when things get rough, cloudy, uncertain, and unfavorable God is still in control. 

The Bible says that ‘no man knows the day or the hour that the Son of Man will return, therefore be ready’ (Matthew 24:36-44). I pray for each person reading this that you are settled in your soul’s salvation because tomorrow is indeed not promised to any of us. This set of scriptures make mention that if you knew a thief was coming to your house, you would make preparations so that your house would not be broken into. We make preparations for everything from college, weddings, activities for our children, for City College High School Homecoming and the list goes on. My prayer is that you are making preparation for your soul. Salvation is a free gift from God. It tells us in Romans 10:9-10, “9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” It is that simple. 

I pray for the family of Tiffany Cruse and her very close friends and classmates. I pray that you feel the warmth of God’s comfort during this time for He is indeed a Comforter. I pray that he calms your anxiety and uneasiness and gives you the strength to make it through this time and the days ahead. Most of all, I pray for your salvation and for a strengthened relationship with Christ. I pray that from this day forward, you make your calling and election sure (2 Peter 1:10) on where you will spend eternity when you are called. 

My prayers and condolences go out to all of you. 

Uh I was just running to the store real quick- Girrrl Stop!

How many times have you done this? Threw on some sweats, pins/rollers in your hair and just looking a hot mess to run to the store or post office or any other quick errand. It’s at that time that you run into that person that you haven’t seen in forever! Then you get to explaining why you out looking crazy in these streets and the person is giving you that look and saying to themselves: Girrrl Stop!

Ladies, please stop doing this! I’m talking to my self too because I’m guilty of this but this is the season of ‘Love Manifested’ so you never know when you’re going to run into Mr. WontHeDoItGodShowsUpAndShowsOut! Then you gon’ be lookin’ all crazy. The Bible says to ‘be ye also ready, no man knows the day or the hour’ you know, stuff like that lol! 

Now there’s nothing wrong with that cute velour sweatsuit or your tee, jeans and chucks to run errands while your hair is in a ponytail or something but the point here is to look presentable at all times. 

So: 

If you come out the house with rollers, pins, scarfs or bonnets: Girrrl Stop!

If any article of your clothing has a hole in it while running to the grocery store: Girrrl Stop!

If you look in the mirror and you can’t honestly say you’d want to holla’ at you, then press rewind and try again.

That’s all.  

Deposits: Who’s transacting in your life?

I love to go to the bank and deposit money! This is a great feeling and a blessing to deposit or put money in to my account. Deposits are good as it relates to the bank but what about deposits as it relates to our lives? Whether you realize it or not people who are in your life are doing one or the other: making deposits or withdrawals. It’s usually not hard to tell which transaction is taking place, just examine how you feel as a result of your dealings with a particular person. Are you invigorated, empowered, inspired and ready to take on the world? Or are you drained, zapped of energy and find it taxing to be in this person’s life which proves daily to be an uphill battle? Are they adding or taking away? It really is that simple. 

There’s an old adage that says: you are the company you keep.  As a teenager I didn’t fully know what this meant, I always thought I was my own person so it shouldn’t matter who I hang with; I’m me and they were them. As an adult I’ve come to see that this is far from the truth. ‘You are the company you keep’ goes far beyond the surface of the actual cliché but it delves into spiritual territory. Who we let in our inner circles is a matter of life and death. Here’s why: 

1. What people speak into your life, matters. Proverbs 28:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof”. Words matter. What you speak over yourself matters. What you let others speak over you matters. It is about the deposit. I heard the preacher say on this past Sunday, “Don’t be someone’s garbage can”. Watch your company because they can speak Death into your life, death into your situations, and death into your circumstances all of which can affect your future. 
2. The presence of people in your life, matters. Having the wrong people around you can erode your character over time. Their very presence can make the difference on whether you succeed or fail. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’." Other translations of this verse reads:  

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. 

Be not deceived, evil discourse corrupts pleasant minds. 

Get the picture?

3. The wrong people having access to your vision, matters. The wrong people can be a hindrance to your goals and dreams, choking the very life out of you until you are immobilized and never accomplish that which you set out to do. 

Beware of the:

Vision Assassins - the ones who shoot your vision down as soon as you share it with them or even get it off the ground. 

Vision Abortionist – the ones who kill the vision before it’s even born. 

(Sermon, Pastor Craig Oliver, Elizabeth Baptist Church, Atlanta, GA)

Who is transacting in your life? What transactions need to be voided? God is the “Manager on Duty” who can alter the transactions in your life; he can approve all voids. “If any man be in Christ he is a new creature” (2 Corinthians 5:17), He makes all things new!  

My Mom wrote me a letter a couple of years ago and I’ll end this post with it.

“Whenever you try to do anything for your future, Satan sees your success and he begins his attacks on you. WEED OUT the people in your life that are not going anywhere. They are your hindrance. Nowhere leads to Nowhere! WEED OUT all thoughts that do not please God. Ask God to give you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you (Psalms 51:10). THINK and BELIEVE THIS DAILY – THE ENEMY DOES NOT HAVE WIN OVER YOU. A retroactive blessing is on the way only if you do it God’s way.

Read Psalms 91 Daily

I hope this blessed you like it blessed me.

You Can Sin Anywhere - Compromising Positions

I’ve seen this trend quite a bit here recently where men ask you out but the date is to come over their house so they can “cook” for you. Sometimes I’ve even heard of men suggesting this for a 1st date! Some use the excuse that money is tight and this saves money. Money is indeed tight these days (no argument there) but if it is that tight that you can’t afford Applebee’s 2 for $20, then this may not be the season for you to date! 

I posed this question to the Girrrl Stop nation last week: Is it okay for Christians to have in-home dates (i.e. dinner and movie etc.)? Most responses came on my personal page and not the blog page and one comment was “it really doesn’t matter because you can sin anywhere”. It is a true statement, you can sin anywhere but let me submit this question: 

Now this is for the win! Which scenario is more likely to result in fornication: 

Choice 1 - 2 for $20 at Applebee’s

Choice 2 - Cooking dinner at the house and snuggling up on the couch for a movie

Ok, three seconds on the clock, I need an answer…

The reality is that it is far less likely that you’ll fornicate with a man sitting with him in the neighborhood Applebee’s (ok, yes I do like Applebee’s laugh and get over it!) versus at his home while he’s making some fake-up 10 minute Rachel Ray pasta dish!

We have to operate in wisdom. If you really think you going to that fine man’s house and he does something so intimate like cooking for you, and nothing is going to eventually happen - Girrrl Stop!

You might make it through the first dinner, second, third or fourth dinner even but the truth is you’re playing with fire when you do this and eventually it’s gon’ go bad! Then you gon’ be at the altar crying profusely and carrying on and then the church mothers gon’ get to whispering “she must be pregnant” while you screaming like somebody died. The truth is, something did die, your standards and this is where allowing yourself to be in compromising positions will lead you. 

In my opinion, in-home dinner dates are not even appropriate for a 1st date, you don’t know that ninja! Why you at his house anyway?

But for those who may have been dating a while and would like to have an in-home dinner and movie date, I’m going old school here and suggest you get a Christian accountability couple. This couple would come and double date with you in the home. They gon' eat with you and watch the movie with you too and when they leave, you need to go - date over! 

I hear in the spirit some people saying, “Chile Boo! I’m 40 and I’m grown, if I wanna go to a man’s house for dinner I’m going!” Well, my dear, you’ve been doing it your way for 20+ years now and where has it gotten you? You can keep being grown and doing what you want to do but God is waiting for you to come out of flesh and fully surrender to His will and His way. 

Stop being loose! Stop stepping into compromising positions. 

Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. 

That’s all.  

**Let me point out that inexpensive dates don’t always require a dollar, there are lots of free things to do outside the home if money is indeed tight. Be creative.**

Fall Back Until the Divorce is in Black!

Have you ever caught yourself saying this? 

-He’s separated and up for grabs!

-He’s emotionally checked out of the marriage years ago so he’s single

-He’s separated, he doesn’t even live with her anymore

-He’s separated so he’s available

Girrrl Stop!

Let me say that again: Girrrl Stop!

Separated is still married and last time I checked, you can date a married man! Don’t be fooled and don’t be made a fool of. When you encounter separated men you never know what can come of that situation so it’s best to fall back until the divorce is in black!

If you date online, you will see that the sites do allow separated men to sign-up and in their profile it will say ‘Legally Separated’ but real talk, that still means ‘Legally Married’. Many men and women choose to date while they are separated because maybe they feel the relationship is really over and they want to move on, however this can be a recipe for disaster for the single person!

Here are a few reasons single women should steer clear of this situation: 

1. By law he is still married. You can’t date someone who is married
2. Separation is a traumatic experience. Men involved in them are usually not emotionally stable at that point and therefore not candidates for a healthy relationship
3. He could at any time decide to go back to his wife and reconcile, even while he’s “dating” you. 
4. If things end in Divorce, it still is not guaranteed that he will want to move forward in the level of relationship that you are looking for (i.e. marriage). 

A very handsome man asked me out on a dinner date at this home (subject for another post) and at the time he was indeed legally separated. Although I was quite enamored by him, I had to decline because who was to say he wouldn’t want to reconcile with his wife at any given time. Fast forward and it appears that the divorce is final but quite naturally he’s not looking to get into anything too serious. He’s healing from the trauma of divorce and focused on his parental responsibilities, as he should be. 

There are exceptions to every rule but in these cases I think it’s smart to play it safe. Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life (Proverbs 4:23 NLT). 

**Disclaimer: I’m not judging or criticizing men and women who are separated and going through this traumatic experience. I pray for them as I can only imagine how difficult that is. This piece is a suggestion, part instruction and encouragement for my single ladies of the Girrrl Stop Nation! That’s my audience.**

That’s all. 

Thottin' & Boppin'

I recently heard this term from my younger/older cousin. I call him that because he’s younger chronologically but very mature in many ways. When he said thottin’ & boppin’ you know I had to ask! The term THOT (which I loath) means ‘that ho over there’. The term boppin’ here suggest to be proud of what you’re doing almost as if to have no shame about it. I laughed at this as he explained to me what it was because honestly it just sounds funny. After giving it some thought, it is my message to my Christian sisters! 

Stop thottin’ & boppin’ in the church! Thottin’ and boppin’ brings consequences and unnecessary stress. What do I mean? We all go through seasons of disobedience and as the old folks used to say, obedience is better than sacrifice. Maybe you’ve found yourself here: dating a man in the church, sleeping with him and still coming to sing on the choir on Sunday, and dare I say still got the nerve to take communion! Girrrl Stop! This should not be! You can’t be fornicating around and calling yourself saved on Sunday, it doesn’t work that way. And believe me you’re doing nothing but bringing stress to your life for years to come sometimes depending on who you dealing with. 

Also, you should never ‘Bop’ in your mess! To mess up and sin is one thing but to walk in it like it’s okay is another and I see it happening all too often in the church. I need you to Bop and take 10 seats - Sit Down! Praying & Repenting is what you need to be doing, God is not pleased with this. 

Top Reasons Not to Thot & Bop: 

1. God is not pleased with this - your goal as a Christian should be to please God in everything that you do. 1 Peter 1:15-16 says,”15 but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”
2. Holiness is right.
3. This won’t get you married. If you are seeking God for a spouse, then act like it. Thottin’ & Boppin’ is not gon' get you to goal
4. It produces ungodly Soul Ties (we will approach this more on another day) but these will open the door for evil spirits to enter your life (unnecessary stress and consequences)
5. It’s just not a good look. Ain’t nothing cute about thottin’ and boppin’. Sin has the tendency to make you look uglier than what you are and you’re too cute for that! 

I thotted and bopped once with a handsome young man. This behavior went on way past its expiration date. The consequence is that I delayed some things that God had for me due to my disobedience. But I thank God that they are just delayed not denied!. 

All I can say to you is don’t do it, it’s not worth it. God’s ways are right regardless of what the world tries to tell you. I’ve been celibate for over two years now and I feel freedom in Christ like never before! So no more thottin’ & boppin’ I’m Motivating & Elevating as God is taking me higher in Him! 

Be Blessed 

Chile Boo!

In this world full of colloquialisms there seems to be a new one every week, I can hardly keep up. From the young generation to hip hop trendsetter to the LBGT community, they are constantly coming up a new saying. I mean, the name of my blog is proof of that - Girrrl Stop - ok I just love saying it, lol.  Let’s see, we have ‘Bye Felichia’, ‘Girl Bye’ and I’m sure by the time I’m finished writing this there will be another one - Bye Everything! One of my favorites is ‘Chile Boo’, made relevant to me by my good friend Stephanie. She kills all foolishness with two words - Chile Boo!

I received an IM from a male associate one night past what I consider to be a respectable hour. He just asked, “what you doing up so late, working on your blog?” True, I was up but not to be IM’ing yo! I ignored it and answered him the next day. I was civil but I had to make it clear to him in my IM, “let’s 86 the messages beyond midnight”. This clown wrote back, “Really? Chile Boo”. 

GIRRRL! Please stop letting y'all male friends watch Housewives of Anywhere with you, it results in this foolishness (you need to stop watching it too but that’s for another day)! No grown man should be writing me talkin’ bout Chile Boo! Something went all through me. Thank God for the Holy Ghost because that IM would've taken another turn. 

Men saying Chile Boo or Chile anything is unacceptable, I repeat, unacceptable! 

That’s all. 

Girrrl Stop! Don't Accept Less Than God's Best!

Jesus Didn't Die On The Cross For You To Be A Side Chick

When I saw this on someone’s timeline I truly laughed out loud, it’s hella funny (sorry I’m still caught up in Straight Outta Compton). Although I really dislike terms like side chick, jump-off, etc., I'm going to use it on today. We all know the real reason Jesus died for us but in essence, this quote drives home the fact that Jesus wants you to have His best. God’s best is not being with someone else’s man ladies, this has to stop! Stop believing the myth of there’s not enough men because it’s not true. Stop believing the myth that all the good men are taken because they’re not! 

Don’t settle for sloppy seconds. Don’t settle for used goods. This is what I mean: you wouldn’t wear another woman’s underwear after she took them off, right? Then why are you sleeping with her man? I pray my readers aren’t doing this but I’m just trying to make a point here! 

Don’t settle for disrespect of any kind. When you’re a side chick, you’re being disrespected, period (as well as the "main chick" I might add)! I don’t care what cockamamy story that ninja gives you, it’s disrespect with a capital D (no pun intended). Have respect for yourself so that you won’t accept anything less from others. Some reading this may say this should be self-explanatory or that it is elementary but clearly it isn’t from the foolishness I hear from Christian men and women. 

Don’t settle for anything less than God’s best. God didn’t intend for you to be stressing out in relationships and trying to convert men. Newsflash, you can’t change ‘em and honestly if you feel you need to change him, he’s not for you. The new thing is ‘honesty’. Men don’t even lie about this stuff anymore, they come right out and tell you. It is then up to you to decide this is not something you're going to accept; you have to say to yourself, 'I’ll be just fine waiting until the right man comes along'. 

Lastly, once you get out of this mess (and you will because the God we serve is one who delivers) for God’s sake, don’t go back. Yes people can change and yes situations can get better but those are usually the exceptions to the rule. Even if he decides to ‘choose you’ that simply means your former position is now open and it’s just a matter of time before another side chick enters; unless of course he’s too old and tired and broke down which in that case you don't want him anyway (I digress). My point is stop going back to dead situations - ladies, Jesus didn't shed his blood for this! (lol) IJS…