Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Be Clear!

I know you all have written out that infamous list! You know, the man list!! Lord, I want him to be tall, dark, handsome and a host of other stuff that people come up with. Let me pause here and say that I’m not actually a fan of the list as I believe it closes you off to other possibilities that you may not realize you need however, if you must have a list please add this one to it: Clear! Clear what? Skin? Speech? No ladies - Clear Direction!! 



He needs to be clear on his purpose, passion and path in order to have the capacity to love and care for you properly. He must be clear on his purpose, that thing that God designed him to do. When asked the age-old question, “Why am I here?”, a man clear on his purpose will be able to articulate a clear answer. Keep in mind that purpose evolves over time and that’s okay. The important thing here is that he be in tune with the Holy Spirit and open to new directions that God may be leading him into. So I suppose that means a purpose-filled man is one who prays!

Not only must he be clear on his purpose but he also must be clear about his passions - those things that fuel his spirit. Adding ‘clear’ to your list will help you pray for a man who is clear on his likes and dislikes but open to learning and discovering new things. 

Lastly, his path should be clear to him. This is not to say there won’t be some detours or U-turns but the path should be clear. He should be led by the Holy Spirit to ensure he reaches his destination. 

The reality is that clarity is a precious jewel that doesn’t come cheap. To be ‘clear’ is costly as it requires you to be focused and perhaps forgo some comfort and convenience. There is a price to pay for clarity but the benefits are more than worth it! 


So Girrrl, I encourage you today to not only add this to your ‘Man List’ but make sure clarity is front & center on your own personal growth list! You must be or at least be working on what it is you are requiring of others. Ladies, be clear on your purpose, your passions, and your path! It is here while you are traveling down your passion-filled, path of purpose that you’ll collide with your “him” and his purpose - and this is what I call The Beautiful Collision! 

Thursday, August 23, 2018

There is Life After This and That

So I’ve been participating in this ‘Pray for Your Future Spouse” challenge online. This is not something new to me as I’ve been doing this for some years now but I do believe there is power in numbers! What a beautiful thing that there are over 60,000 people participating in this challenge and prayers are going up each morning!! The challenge is sponsored by a Pastor and his wife out of Chicago (Pastor Jamal & Natasha) and they have been bringing on different people each evening for the daily teaching. Last evening a Pastor & Wife team out of Atlanta led the teaching on ‘purpose’ and how this must be established before entering marriage. At some point during this teaching, Pastor Pittman said, “God don’t waste hurts!” It was at that moment that the Lord spoke to me and told me ‘there is life after “this” and “that”!



Girrrl, I don’t know what your ‘this’ or ‘that’ is but know that it didn’t come to destroy you but rather God is using it as a catalyst for ministry! We’ve all cried to God at some point and asked Him ‘why me’, ‘why this’ and ‘why that’! But God is saying to you that your breaking will cause you to be a blessing to someone else. It’s okay to say to someone who’s going through something, “it’s going to be okay, God will bring you through” but it’s way more effective to be able to say, “it’s going to be okay, God will bring you through because He did the exact same thing for me when I was in this same predicament”! It’s power in your testimony and what I know for sure is that you can’t have a testimony without a test! 

I want to encourage you today and remind you that there is life after ‘this’ and ‘that’! Your ‘this’ may be disappointments, heartbreaks, depression, regrets, mistakes, poor choices, wrong decisions, family hurt, or even church hurt. Your ‘that’ may be substance abuse, alcoholism, financial setbacks, poor credit, promiscuity, disease, addiction (sex, shopping, gambling, food, etc.), divorce, molestation, and the list goes on. I declare this day that there is life after ‘this’ and ‘that’!


The key is to put it in God’s Hands and let Him take all of your ‘this’ and your ‘that’ and make something beautiful out of it! Your ‘this’ and ‘that’ does not define you, it’s not who you are but rather experiences that were instrumental in shaping the woman that God has called you to be! So you don’t have to walk with your head down because it was all on purpose and for PURPOSE! Even with your mistakes, setbacks, and failures, you can have a beautiful life that God uses for His glory!  


Remember: 
You are victorious! You are an overcomer! You are purpose-filled!

Be Encouraged. Be Inspired.

If you're interested in joining the FaceBook Group mentioned the link is below: 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mysavedandsingle/ 

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

When Love Shows Up

Some 'single girl’ cliches have come to fruition in my life recently, ones that I would clinch my pearls when I actually let them come out of my mouth or roll from my fingertips onto my laptop. You know those ones that singles cringe when they hear them because it sounds so condescending and quite frankly, annoying. Ok so where should my top 5 list start: 
  1. He’ll come along when you least expect it
  2. He’s probably staring you in your face and you just don’t know it yet
  3. God is just waiting to give you someone really special
  4. Singleness is a gift (I say this one and I know it’s true but still super annoying!)
  5. God will bring him at the right time

Although these cliches are incredibly annoying, I can see them manifesting in my life! God definitely seems to be moving when I least expected it! As is the focus of this blog, empowering Christian women to be their absolute best, I’ve been working on creating the best version of myself. The thing is, I’m not there yet. I’m not at the place where I’d thought I’d be when love would show up. You know we all have that vision of being fully together when love shows up: mind, body, finances, business, and the list goes on. We all want to bring our best to the table, not our mess to the table. The one cliche I didn’t include above is that God is indeed the author of our love story and it is He who holds the pen. I’m amazed and baffled at the way He is crafting my current chapter. Case in point: 
  1. I was not expecting love
  2. It has been staring me in my face for a while
  3. I discern the special wow factor
  4. Singleness is indeed a gift but one that I’m okay exchanging 
  5. This is the one I struggle with: the right time
The timing seems all wrong by my account but then I hear the spirit of the Lord remind me that He is the author of time and that He transcends time. His timing is not ours - trust me, I sent him my plans some time ago and I do believe he LOL’d me and said Girrrl Stop! I gave him my plans and He overrode them. The ‘breaking’ I have been experiencing was once cloudy to me but the Lord is revealing the ‘why’ and making it clearer each day. I never wanted to be in a vulnerable state when love showed up but that seems to be what God had planned for me. Maybe it’s at this place of vulnerability that the Lord will be able to effectively use me - flaws and all. 

Hello Love, I’m elated you’re here! 


   

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Who's The Boss?

In the midst of my inspirational training, I heard the presenter say, “You are the boss of your feelings, not the other way around”. Whet what? You mean to tell me all this time I was actually the one in charge? I could control my own feelings and not let them control me? Why yes! You are the boss of how you feel but then that leads to the question, what is the root cause of your feelings? One word: ingestion. 



By its most common definition ingestion is the process of taking food, drink, or another substance into the body by swallowing or absorbing it. It could also mean the process of absorbing information. What I’m suggesting here is that your feelings are usually directly tied to what you are ingesting or taking in. 

Anybody have a friend, co-worker or even family member that literally zaps the life out of you with their negativity? As soon as you see them, they begin to be negative, complain, gossip, or whatever else and the next thing you know, you’re feeling down or tired with no explanation why! You just ate some grade-A, certified negativity and now it is in your system working its way out through how you feel. 

The same way you would get the bubble guts if you drank some spoiled milk is the same way your spirit will be affected if you ate or drank some spoiled vibes. God instructs us to ‘taste and see that the Lord is good’ (Psalm 34:8). To be in full control of your feelings starts first with what you are taking in! When you’re feeling down, take in God’s Word and let it saturate your spirit! Also ingest some positive thoughts, videos, readings, conversations with positive friends, etc. Do what you need to do to switch things around. I mentioned I was taking inspirational training because I was feeling uninspired. So I took in or ingested some material that would get me inspired, hence this post! 

So to all my real ‘boss chicks’ out there - watch what you ingest, it will be the difference between your spirit being bubbly or bubbling out of control! 

Remember: 
You are brave! You are beautiful! You are blissful!


Be Encouraged. Be Inspired.

Monday, July 2, 2018

Girrrl Court Yourself!

July Theme: Wed Yourself
"The Courtship"

I love courtship and the whole process of making a commitment to someone and taking the time necessary to truly get to know them. Courtship is loosely defined as a period during which a couple develops a romantic relationship, especially with a view toward marriage. One of the main differences between dating and courtship is dating tries to answer the question, How can I find the one who will make me happy? Courtship strives to answer the question, How can I honor God and discern His direction regarding my life partner?

So how does this all correlate to you? How can you court yourself? By answering the question above: How can I honor God and discern His direction regarding my life? (minus one word). Girrrl court yourself!



Here are three ways you can begin to court yourself:

1. Ask yourself from tough questions - Courtship involves asking some tough, reflective questions. Are you settled on your life purpose? If so, are you on track with your purpose? Are you happy? If not, what can you do to change your outlook? When we ask ourselves these questions we begin to peel back new layers of ourselves that lead to new and fun discoveries! 

2. Get Accountable! - Part of the courtship process is accountability. This is one of the other major differences between courtship and dating - accountability. First off hold yourself accountable for your small steps of progress in this courtship. Truly commit to seeking God for the next steps of your life. Then pray about an accountability partner, someone who will encourage you, correct you and help you get back on track with your goals. Someone who will offer a kind word as the Holy Spirit leads. 

3. Fall in love with you again! - What do you do when you’re in love (not the dumb stuff we do but the nice, cutesy stuff)? You smile at him. You write him nice notes with smiley faces. You get excited when you know you’re going to spend time with him. You know, that type of stuff! Well, when you wake up each day, look yourself in the mirror and smile :)!!! Write yourself nice notes and post them around your space (think Being Mary Jane) as a way to encourage yourself as you are beginning this courtship journey! 

4. Believe you’re worthy!! - Walk into your courtship with yourself knowing that you are worthy of it! You are worth the work! Regardless of past mistakes, failures, night seasons, etc. you are still worthy and worth it! 


As we “Wed Ourselves” this July let’s begin with the Courtship and really get to know ourselves on a deeper level. Let’s peel back some new layers and discover some new, interesting and fun things about ourselves. 

Remember: 
You are amazing! You are awesome! You are aligned! 

Be Encouraged. Be Inspired. 

Be Clear!

I know you all have written out that infamous list! You know, the man list!! Lord, I want him to be tall, dark, handsome and a host of othe...