Tuesday, November 27, 2018

When Love Accepts

Is there any perfect person out there? Nah! Of course not! we all come with something and are constantly being molded into something better. The Lord is developing all of us and works with us right where we are. What a blessing it is to be accepted right where you are, how you are - flaws and all. When Love Shows Up, Love Accepts. 



Love doesn’t try to change you but rather pushes you to be your best self. Love admires your quirks and finds humor in your ratchetness (yeah you got some ratchet!). Love may not like everything you do or say but it accepts it and offers a kind, ‘bless your heart’ declaration and scurries on about the day. Love takes hold of your deepest flaws and secrets and handles them with extreme care and of course - love.  

Love’s acceptance causes you to feel secure, safe and empowered as if you can jump the largest hurdle in one leap!  When love accepts, you can be your true, authentic self, flowing in your best rhythm. 

1 Corinthians 13:7 (NCV) - Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures.

To take a look at the first post in the series “When Love…” click below: 



Monday, November 19, 2018

Convenience Ain’t Free!

A few weekends ago I was blessed with a ticket to see the production ‘Jesus’ at Sight and Sound in Pennsylvania. What an awesome production it was and the set changes were amazing! After the play my group traveled over to the Shady Maple (I think that’s the name) buffet. The buffet choices were endless. At the grill station there was steak, salmon and blackened catfish. The catfish was outstanding! The line at the grill station was long because they were cooking everything on site. As I ventured over to the line to get me a piece of (ok another piece of) catfish, I started to turn around because the line was just too long and I did not want to wait! My cousin happened to be at the front of the line so I asked him to get my fish for me. Right in that moment I made eye contact with my Pastor and he looked like “no she’s not jumping this line”. I felt bad for a split second but not bad enough to recant my request for the catfish. But it did make me think further about how people do not like to wait for anything. Why?   


Waiting can be hard. We live in a microwave society where everything is produced right away. No one wants to wait for anything these days. You don’t wait for the customer service rep, you use self-service. You don’t wait in line, you order on your phone and pick up. You have a structured settlement? Can’t wait, you need your cash NOW! Everything is now, now and right now! We do not like to wait for anything because we love convenience but what I’ve discovered: convenience ain’t free! 

There is always a cost for convenience, sometimes the cost is small and sometimes it’s massive. The convenience fee you pay Cash App for dispensing your money instantly is small. The convenience fee you pay for settling for just “ok” versus “God’s best” for your life is massive!

So I hear you asking 'what convenience fee do you mean?' Well let me provide a short list:

When you put your desires above what God's Word says 
Fee = Life Becomes A Hot Mess (Filled with Disappointment)

When you settle for Mr. Right Now instead of waiting on God's best
Fee = Life Becomes A Hurt Mess (Filled with Heartbreak and Headache)

When you decide to do things the world's way instead of standing firm on God's Word 
Fee = A Whole Mess (Filled with Catastrophe and Confusion) 


Whoa! These fees are enormous and will eat up any life that you have left! In these instances, convenience isn't worth it! Don't settle, wait on God's best and always remember: convenience ain't free! 

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

What to Do While You Wait

Waiting is hard to do. We like things to be instant. For instance, we like instant oatmeal, instant deposits, and even instant coffee! We like ready-made, pre-cooked and instant meals. This pre-occupation with ‘instant’ carries over into the area of relationships - and this can be dangerous. In relationships and dating the 'instant craving' causes anxiety which in turn causes us to get antsy during the wait. I completely understand this feeling as a seasoned single. I know how anxiety can sit in as the wait prolongs, sits and festers. So how do we calm down? What do we do while we wait? 

Let’s take our cue from the exceptional waiter in an exceptional restaurant. I’m talking about the best waiter you ever encountered, the one that made you tip extra at the end of the meal! Here are three things waiters do that we can apply during our season of waiting: 



1. Waiters Serve - Just like waiters serve the people at the table so should we serve Christ by serving God’s people. Participate in your church through various ministries, serve in your community through shelters or soup kitchens, and serve people in your life, making a positive impact in the lives of those you come in contact with. As a single you should always strive to see how you can serve others & how you can make things better. Concentrate on serving God and others and see how your life changes. Additionally, for those seeking God for a mate, what better way for your future mate to see you than serving God! Boaz saw Ruth when she was in the field working! 

2. Waiters Smile - I can’t express to you the difference a smile makes when you see someone or are greeted by them. The amount of single women I see walking around with frowns is so disconcerting to me. Waiters in a restaurant smile because it makes people feel welcome and literally shifts the atmosphere to a more positive one. As a single woman, strive to be a woman who shifts the atmosphere into one that is life-giving. If you are hurting on the inside and can’t muster up a smile, pray and God will heal you so that you can be an atmosphere shifter! 

3. Waiters Survey - An exceptional waiter surveys the table so that they can anticipate requests from the customers. During your waiting season, survey, scan and study those you help, so that you can anticipate their needs and exceed them. This goes back to making things better for those around you and shifting the atmosphere when you enter the scene. 

Why should you focus on serving, making things better, shifting the atmosphere and surveying those you serve? This is all great preparation for a spouse! You should always strive to make things better and create loving, positive and life-giving environments that people will want to be in and thrive in. 

The waiting season doesn't have to be one of angst, it should be a time that is fulfilling as you are constantly creating and living your best life! 

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Be Clear!

I know you all have written out that infamous list! You know, the man list!! Lord, I want him to be tall, dark, handsome and a host of other stuff that people come up with. Let me pause here and say that I’m not actually a fan of the list as I believe it closes you off to other possibilities that you may not realize you need however, if you must have a list please add this one to it: Clear! Clear what? Skin? Speech? No ladies - Clear Direction!! 



He needs to be clear on his purpose, passion and path in order to have the capacity to love and care for you properly. He must be clear on his purpose, that thing that God designed him to do. When asked the age-old question, “Why am I here?”, a man clear on his purpose will be able to articulate a clear answer. Keep in mind that purpose evolves over time and that’s okay. The important thing here is that he be in tune with the Holy Spirit and open to new directions that God may be leading him into. So I suppose that means a purpose-filled man is one who prays!

Not only must he be clear on his purpose but he also must be clear about his passions - those things that fuel his spirit. Adding ‘clear’ to your list will help you pray for a man who is clear on his likes and dislikes but open to learning and discovering new things. 

Lastly, his path should be clear to him. This is not to say there won’t be some detours or U-turns but the path should be clear. He should be led by the Holy Spirit to ensure he reaches his destination. 

The reality is that clarity is a precious jewel that doesn’t come cheap. To be ‘clear’ is costly as it requires you to be focused and perhaps forgo some comfort and convenience. There is a price to pay for clarity but the benefits are more than worth it! 


So Girrrl, I encourage you today to not only add this to your ‘Man List’ but make sure clarity is front & center on your own personal growth list! You must be or at least be working on what it is you are requiring of others. Ladies, be clear on your purpose, your passions, and your path! It is here while you are traveling down your passion-filled, path of purpose that you’ll collide with your “him” and his purpose - and this is what I call The Beautiful Collision! 

Thursday, August 23, 2018

There is Life After This and That

So I’ve been participating in this ‘Pray for Your Future Spouse” challenge online. This is not something new to me as I’ve been doing this for some years now but I do believe there is power in numbers! What a beautiful thing that there are over 60,000 people participating in this challenge and prayers are going up each morning!! The challenge is sponsored by a Pastor and his wife out of Chicago (Pastor Jamal & Natasha) and they have been bringing on different people each evening for the daily teaching. Last evening a Pastor & Wife team out of Atlanta led the teaching on ‘purpose’ and how this must be established before entering marriage. At some point during this teaching, Pastor Pittman said, “God don’t waste hurts!” It was at that moment that the Lord spoke to me and told me ‘there is life after “this” and “that”!



Girrrl, I don’t know what your ‘this’ or ‘that’ is but know that it didn’t come to destroy you but rather God is using it as a catalyst for ministry! We’ve all cried to God at some point and asked Him ‘why me’, ‘why this’ and ‘why that’! But God is saying to you that your breaking will cause you to be a blessing to someone else. It’s okay to say to someone who’s going through something, “it’s going to be okay, God will bring you through” but it’s way more effective to be able to say, “it’s going to be okay, God will bring you through because He did the exact same thing for me when I was in this same predicament”! It’s power in your testimony and what I know for sure is that you can’t have a testimony without a test! 

I want to encourage you today and remind you that there is life after ‘this’ and ‘that’! Your ‘this’ may be disappointments, heartbreaks, depression, regrets, mistakes, poor choices, wrong decisions, family hurt, or even church hurt. Your ‘that’ may be substance abuse, alcoholism, financial setbacks, poor credit, promiscuity, disease, addiction (sex, shopping, gambling, food, etc.), divorce, molestation, and the list goes on. I declare this day that there is life after ‘this’ and ‘that’!


The key is to put it in God’s Hands and let Him take all of your ‘this’ and your ‘that’ and make something beautiful out of it! Your ‘this’ and ‘that’ does not define you, it’s not who you are but rather experiences that were instrumental in shaping the woman that God has called you to be! So you don’t have to walk with your head down because it was all on purpose and for PURPOSE! Even with your mistakes, setbacks, and failures, you can have a beautiful life that God uses for His glory!  


Remember: 
You are victorious! You are an overcomer! You are purpose-filled!

Be Encouraged. Be Inspired.

If you're interested in joining the FaceBook Group mentioned the link is below: 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mysavedandsingle/ 

When Love Accepts

Is there any perfect person out there? Nah! Of course not! we all come with something and are constantly being molded into something better...