Wednesday, November 14, 2018

What to Do While You Wait

Waiting is hard to do. We like things to be instant. For instance, we like instant oatmeal, instant deposits, and even instant coffee! We like ready-made, pre-cooked and instant meals. This pre-occupation with ‘instant’ carries over into the area of relationships - and this can be dangerous. In relationships and dating the 'instant craving' causes anxiety which in turn causes us to get antsy during the wait. I completely understand this feeling as a seasoned single. I know how anxiety can sit in as the wait prolongs, sits and festers. So how do we calm down? What do we do while we wait? 

Let’s take our cue from the exceptional waiter in an exceptional restaurant. I’m talking about the best waiter you ever encountered, the one that made you tip extra at the end of the meal! Here are three things waiters do that we can apply during our season of waiting: 



1. Waiters Serve - Just like waiters serve the people at the table so should we serve Christ by serving God’s people. Participate in your church through various ministries, serve in your community through shelters or soup kitchens, and serve people in your life, making a positive impact in the lives of those you come in contact with. As a single you should always strive to see how you can serve others & how you can make things better. Concentrate on serving God and others and see how your life changes. Additionally, for those seeking God for a mate, what better way for your future mate to see you than serving God! Boaz saw Ruth when she was in the field working! 

2. Waiters Smile - I can’t express to you the difference a smile makes when you see someone or are greeted by them. The amount of single women I see walking around with frowns is so disconcerting to me. Waiters in a restaurant smile because it makes people feel welcome and literally shifts the atmosphere to a more positive one. As a single woman, strive to be a woman who shifts the atmosphere into one that is life-giving. If you are hurting on the inside and can’t muster up a smile, pray and God will heal you so that you can be an atmosphere shifter! 

3. Waiters Survey - An exceptional waiter surveys the table so that they can anticipate requests from the customers. During your waiting season, survey, scan and study those you help, so that you can anticipate their needs and exceed them. This goes back to making things better for those around you and shifting the atmosphere when you enter the scene. 

Why should you focus on serving, making things better, shifting the atmosphere and surveying those you serve? This is all great preparation for a spouse! You should always strive to make things better and create loving, positive and life-giving environments that people will want to be in and thrive in. 

The waiting season doesn't have to be one of angst, it should be a time that is fulfilling as you are constantly creating and living your best life! 

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Be Clear!

I know you all have written out that infamous list! You know, the man list!! Lord, I want him to be tall, dark, handsome and a host of other stuff that people come up with. Let me pause here and say that I’m not actually a fan of the list as I believe it closes you off to other possibilities that you may not realize you need however, if you must have a list please add this one to it: Clear! Clear what? Skin? Speech? No ladies - Clear Direction!! 



He needs to be clear on his purpose, passion and path in order to have the capacity to love and care for you properly. He must be clear on his purpose, that thing that God designed him to do. When asked the age-old question, “Why am I here?”, a man clear on his purpose will be able to articulate a clear answer. Keep in mind that purpose evolves over time and that’s okay. The important thing here is that he be in tune with the Holy Spirit and open to new directions that God may be leading him into. So I suppose that means a purpose-filled man is one who prays!

Not only must he be clear on his purpose but he also must be clear about his passions - those things that fuel his spirit. Adding ‘clear’ to your list will help you pray for a man who is clear on his likes and dislikes but open to learning and discovering new things. 

Lastly, his path should be clear to him. This is not to say there won’t be some detours or U-turns but the path should be clear. He should be led by the Holy Spirit to ensure he reaches his destination. 

The reality is that clarity is a precious jewel that doesn’t come cheap. To be ‘clear’ is costly as it requires you to be focused and perhaps forgo some comfort and convenience. There is a price to pay for clarity but the benefits are more than worth it! 


So Girrrl, I encourage you today to not only add this to your ‘Man List’ but make sure clarity is front & center on your own personal growth list! You must be or at least be working on what it is you are requiring of others. Ladies, be clear on your purpose, your passions, and your path! It is here while you are traveling down your passion-filled, path of purpose that you’ll collide with your “him” and his purpose - and this is what I call The Beautiful Collision! 

Thursday, August 23, 2018

There is Life After This and That

So I’ve been participating in this ‘Pray for Your Future Spouse” challenge online. This is not something new to me as I’ve been doing this for some years now but I do believe there is power in numbers! What a beautiful thing that there are over 60,000 people participating in this challenge and prayers are going up each morning!! The challenge is sponsored by a Pastor and his wife out of Chicago (Pastor Jamal & Natasha) and they have been bringing on different people each evening for the daily teaching. Last evening a Pastor & Wife team out of Atlanta led the teaching on ‘purpose’ and how this must be established before entering marriage. At some point during this teaching, Pastor Pittman said, “God don’t waste hurts!” It was at that moment that the Lord spoke to me and told me ‘there is life after “this” and “that”!



Girrrl, I don’t know what your ‘this’ or ‘that’ is but know that it didn’t come to destroy you but rather God is using it as a catalyst for ministry! We’ve all cried to God at some point and asked Him ‘why me’, ‘why this’ and ‘why that’! But God is saying to you that your breaking will cause you to be a blessing to someone else. It’s okay to say to someone who’s going through something, “it’s going to be okay, God will bring you through” but it’s way more effective to be able to say, “it’s going to be okay, God will bring you through because He did the exact same thing for me when I was in this same predicament”! It’s power in your testimony and what I know for sure is that you can’t have a testimony without a test! 

I want to encourage you today and remind you that there is life after ‘this’ and ‘that’! Your ‘this’ may be disappointments, heartbreaks, depression, regrets, mistakes, poor choices, wrong decisions, family hurt, or even church hurt. Your ‘that’ may be substance abuse, alcoholism, financial setbacks, poor credit, promiscuity, disease, addiction (sex, shopping, gambling, food, etc.), divorce, molestation, and the list goes on. I declare this day that there is life after ‘this’ and ‘that’!


The key is to put it in God’s Hands and let Him take all of your ‘this’ and your ‘that’ and make something beautiful out of it! Your ‘this’ and ‘that’ does not define you, it’s not who you are but rather experiences that were instrumental in shaping the woman that God has called you to be! So you don’t have to walk with your head down because it was all on purpose and for PURPOSE! Even with your mistakes, setbacks, and failures, you can have a beautiful life that God uses for His glory!  


Remember: 
You are victorious! You are an overcomer! You are purpose-filled!

Be Encouraged. Be Inspired.

If you're interested in joining the FaceBook Group mentioned the link is below: 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mysavedandsingle/ 

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

When Love Shows Up

Some 'single girl’ cliches have come to fruition in my life recently, ones that I would clinch my pearls when I actually let them come out of my mouth or roll from my fingertips onto my laptop. You know those ones that singles cringe when they hear them because it sounds so condescending and quite frankly, annoying. Ok so where should my top 5 list start: 
  1. He’ll come along when you least expect it
  2. He’s probably staring you in your face and you just don’t know it yet
  3. God is just waiting to give you someone really special
  4. Singleness is a gift (I say this one and I know it’s true but still super annoying!)
  5. God will bring him at the right time

Although these cliches are incredibly annoying, I can see them manifesting in my life! God definitely seems to be moving when I least expected it! As is the focus of this blog, empowering Christian women to be their absolute best, I’ve been working on creating the best version of myself. The thing is, I’m not there yet. I’m not at the place where I’d thought I’d be when love would show up. You know we all have that vision of being fully together when love shows up: mind, body, finances, business, and the list goes on. We all want to bring our best to the table, not our mess to the table. The one cliche I didn’t include above is that God is indeed the author of our love story and it is He who holds the pen. I’m amazed and baffled at the way He is crafting my current chapter. Case in point: 
  1. I was not expecting love
  2. It has been staring me in my face for a while
  3. I discern the special wow factor
  4. Singleness is indeed a gift but one that I’m okay exchanging 
  5. This is the one I struggle with: the right time
The timing seems all wrong by my account but then I hear the spirit of the Lord remind me that He is the author of time and that He transcends time. His timing is not ours - trust me, I sent him my plans some time ago and I do believe he LOL’d me and said Girrrl Stop! I gave him my plans and He overrode them. The ‘breaking’ I have been experiencing was once cloudy to me but the Lord is revealing the ‘why’ and making it clearer each day. I never wanted to be in a vulnerable state when love showed up but that seems to be what God had planned for me. Maybe it’s at this place of vulnerability that the Lord will be able to effectively use me - flaws and all. 

Hello Love, I’m elated you’re here! 


   

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Who's The Boss?

In the midst of my inspirational training, I heard the presenter say, “You are the boss of your feelings, not the other way around”. Whet what? You mean to tell me all this time I was actually the one in charge? I could control my own feelings and not let them control me? Why yes! You are the boss of how you feel but then that leads to the question, what is the root cause of your feelings? One word: ingestion. 



By its most common definition ingestion is the process of taking food, drink, or another substance into the body by swallowing or absorbing it. It could also mean the process of absorbing information. What I’m suggesting here is that your feelings are usually directly tied to what you are ingesting or taking in. 

Anybody have a friend, co-worker or even family member that literally zaps the life out of you with their negativity? As soon as you see them, they begin to be negative, complain, gossip, or whatever else and the next thing you know, you’re feeling down or tired with no explanation why! You just ate some grade-A, certified negativity and now it is in your system working its way out through how you feel. 

The same way you would get the bubble guts if you drank some spoiled milk is the same way your spirit will be affected if you ate or drank some spoiled vibes. God instructs us to ‘taste and see that the Lord is good’ (Psalm 34:8). To be in full control of your feelings starts first with what you are taking in! When you’re feeling down, take in God’s Word and let it saturate your spirit! Also ingest some positive thoughts, videos, readings, conversations with positive friends, etc. Do what you need to do to switch things around. I mentioned I was taking inspirational training because I was feeling uninspired. So I took in or ingested some material that would get me inspired, hence this post! 

So to all my real ‘boss chicks’ out there - watch what you ingest, it will be the difference between your spirit being bubbly or bubbling out of control! 

Remember: 
You are brave! You are beautiful! You are blissful!


Be Encouraged. Be Inspired.

What to Do While You Wait

Waiting is hard to do. We like things to be instant. For instance, we like instant oatmeal, instant deposits, and even instant coffee! We l...