Thursday, September 7, 2017

Girrrl Don't let people single-shame you - Single Lives Matter

Thanksgiving 2016 a childhood friend, Dee, passed away in her early thirties. Her sudden passing was a shock to her family and as you can imagine, emotions were in full bloom. In Baltimore, the custom is to visit with the family each night leading up to the funeral. We bring food, drinks and sometimes just the ministry of presence. During my family's visit we of course prepared a meal for the bereaved family and came to sit with them and serve as needed. When we arrived, Dee's sister was attempting to prepare the obituary. I asked if I could help her and take that one thing off her laundry list of things to do, she happily said yes. She admitted that she was struggling with writing the obit and at that moment, a married friend of the family jumped in the conversation and said, "Yeah this one is hard to write because she was so young, wasn't married, didn't have any kids, I mean there is nothing really to write".

One word to describe the feeling that came over me: furious.

Because of my furiousity (yeah I made that word up), I didn't respond to the insensitive comment but rather I pulled my Mac AirBook out of my bag and told Dee's sister that I would gladly take care of this for her. Less than an hour later I was able to craft a beautiful obit, one that captured her life, vibrant personality and sharp wit that made her the person we'd come to love.

The point of this story is this; Don't let people single-shame you! SOME married people would have you think that your life is insignificant and doesn't matter because you don't have a spouse and children. People will try to make you feel that your life is incomplete and unfulfilled as a single. Let me shatter the lies now: Your Single Life Matters!

Girrrl you are doing it! Living a full life that is! Your spiritual and prayer life is intact and your career is amazing! Your business is getting off the ground or already booming and you're impacting the lives of people young and old daily! You're traveling, planning to travel or just getting back from an amazing trip! Your dating life is great or maybe even nonexistent by choice but whatever your life looks like, God is shaping it exactly how He wants it to be and because of that fact: it's perfect.

Marriage is good, great even but know it's not a qualification or a prerequisite for a great life. Singleness is good, great even and requires strength and resilience to navigate in a world that thinks differently. I pray for marriages all the time because I believe they are indeed of God. The enemy comes against them so I pray for their success. I wish that married people would pray for Singles that way. Not for a spouse necessarily (because that may not be everyone's desire) but pray for strength, wisdom, financial stability, clarity, and whatever else based on their relationship with that single person.

Shout out to my married friends who hold me down, encourage me and never make me feel less than!

Girrrl! Single lives matter and don't let anyone tell you any different!

**Rest In Heaven Dee**

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