Skip to main content

Do You Agree?

It’s been said that opposites attract but attract what? 

I’m currently teaching a dating class to teens and young adults and one of the concepts that keeps coming up is agreement. What do I mean? Two people must be in agreement spiritually in order for the relationship to be successful. The Bible states in Amos 3:3, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”, certainly not. 2 Corinthians 6:14 states, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”

It is important to be on the same page with people as it relates to relationships because it makes the journey smoother. When you link up with an unbeliever you bring necessary stress into your life. Yes, they may be a nice person, even a good person but they are not coming from the same premise that you are - living according to God’s Word. This is particularly important for women because as we look at this from a marriage standpoint, men are leaders in the home. It will be difficult to follow leadership that is not following the voice and Word of God. Dating is no different. The end goal of dating should be marriage so it does not make sense to even date an unbeliever. The two of you are going in totally different directions; you can’t build this way. 

Just a note, unequally yoked can apply to friendships, business partnerships and any connection in general. If two co-business owners are not on the same page then it will be difficult to run a successful business together. This doesn’t mean that you think exactly the same, or even act the same way but it does mean that your foundational beliefs should be the same, you should be coming from the same base. 



If you are in a dating relationship with an unbeliever, I would encourage you to get out of it. You can pray for them and when God decides to deliver them and change them (if that is their desire) then perhaps you can entertain befriending them again. Honestly, it’s the God in you that they are attracted to in the first place but as life’s challenges come at you, you need someone who knows how to go to God in prayer for his family and as the movie ‘War Room’ suggest, fights battles on their knees. 

Yes, I do know of cases where Christians have married unbelievers and God eventually saved that spouse but if you ask any of those couples, they will tell you that it didn’t come without some major heartache and/or struggle. The road to get there was not a smooth one. Dating and marriage is difficult enough without adding to it willfully. 

If you are compromising your beliefs to be in a relationship - Girrrl Stop! 

God wants to give you his best, be patient and wait for it. 

Comments

  1. I agree but...

    Quite honestly, I think that as "believers" we make the mistake of relegating unequally yoked to the realm of accepting Christ and our functioning as believers. When, truth be told, a potential suitor can worship and pray all day-everyday but, if your foundational values beyond your love of the Lord don't match up, you can very easily find yourself more unequally yoked than had you married an atheist who had his or her life in order.

    For example - 2 Christians can come together and do all of the "right things" re their courtship. But, what if his or her credit is a mess? Which in and of itself, is not a big deal as it is a matter that can be corrected. But, what if that partner not only doesn't acknowledge the importance of good credit (since momma and daddy got along fine without it) but, they continue their spending habits which are such that the money is spent before you can get it into your hands? How successful will this union between 2 believers actually be? Dreams of owning a home? Dashed. Going away on vacations? Don't count on it. Being able to buy the clothes or cars you desire? Not going to happen. Affording to keep your hair tight? Welcome to going natural not by choice. Do they value education? Do they value confidence between a husband and wife or will every decision in your marriage be made between the 3 of you (that 3rd being momma, poppa, sister, brother, best friend, etc...)?

    I could go on but, my point is that while your dating partner's love for God is important, you can find yourself in quite a mess by not considering all levels of being equally (or near equally) matched.

    Do you agree?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great comment!!!! The areas that you reference are actually speaking to compatibility, what I'm talking about is making sure that the foundation of your belief system is at least the same. Then once that is in order then you have to explore whether you are compatible or not. What I'm running into are Christian sisters who are in full relationships with unsaved men and wonder why it is full of headaches and not working out. To your point you will not be compatible with every believer but at least let the belief be the starting point and then build from there

      Delete

Post a Comment

Thank you for stopping by Girrrl Stop! and taking the time to comment!

Popular posts from this blog

Do the Work in 2024!

Happy New Year Girrrl!  I pray that the first 3 days in 2024 have been fruitful!  As women, God has called you to do the work in 2024. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by the challenges and projects that we encounter on a daily basis, but we must remember that God is always with us and has equipped us to handle whatever comes our way. In 1 Chronicles 28:20, King David reminds us of this truth: "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished." This verse applies not only to the building of the temple, but to any work that God has called us to do. We must be strong and courageous, knowing that God is with us every step of the way. To truly do the work that God has called us to do, we must first seek His will for our lives. This can be done through prayer, reading the Bible, and seeking wise counsel from...

Your Storm is Connected to Your Assignment

Some years ago, my cousin had a t-shirt custom made for me that said ‘On Assignment’ in rhinestones (yes, I wore it with rhinestones) across the front. If I’m honest, I wondered why she purchased that particular t-shirt for me, I mean, what assignment was I on? Every time I wore the t-shirt, I would get stopped and people wanted to know what the assignment was. I would reply with my ‘churchy’ answer and say, “I’m on assignment with what God has commissioned me to do!”, still having no idea of what that was. Don’t get me wrong, I had bits and pieces of it, but I didn’t know the full extent of my assignment. As the years went by, the Lord began to speak to me more and more and began to make clear to me more aspects of what He called me to do. As I pondered on what I saw in the spirit, a myriad of emotions began to form from excitement, fear, doubt, and the list goes on. Then it started. What you ask? The storm. As the rain fell, winds blew, and floods came to beat up on me, the magnitude...

Thottin' & Boppin'

I recently heard this term from my younger/older cousin. I call him that because he’s younger chronologically but very mature in many ways. When he said thottin’ & boppin’ you know I had to ask! The term THOT (which I loath) means ‘that ho over there’. The term boppin’ here suggest to be proud of what you’re doing almost as if to have no shame about it. I laughed at this as he explained to me what it was because honestly it just sounds funny. After giving it some thought, it is my message to my Christian sisters!  Stop thottin’ & boppin’ in the church! Thottin’ and boppin’ brings consequences and unnecessary stress. What do I mean? We all go through seasons of disobedience and as the old folks used to say, obedience is better than sacrifice. Maybe you’ve found yourself here: dating a man in the church, sleeping with him and still coming to sing on the choir on Sunday, and dare I say still got the nerve to take communion! Girrrl Stop! This should not be! You can’t b...